“Are ‘Twinflame’ Relationships Real, From God, or Demonic?”

Does the term “twinflame” come from God? Does it come from a “divine” source? Would this be considered demonic due to its telepathic tendencies and reincarnation belief? I have a family member who thinks they have found their “twinflame” and believes that he has a “higher” connection with this person then his wife. I have been brought up in a Christian home, and feel that this goes against everything that I have been taught. Did Jesus himself preach about reincarnation? What can I say to this person to let them know that “twinflames” do not exist?

I had never heard of the word “twinflame” (and I assure you it is not a biblical concept so no, it doesn’t come from God), but as I researched it, I had to chuckle with rueful recognition of the relational dynamics. Websites addressing this supposed “twinflame” phenomenon describe the breathtaking rapture of an immediate and intense connection with another person that often overshadows actual real-life relationships (such as a spouse, as in your family member’s case). What’s really happening is that a person becomes infatuated with their perception of someone else, imbuing the object of their intense affections with a kind of “magic” fueled by their imagination and fantasy; in their mind, the other person is more beautiful, smarter, more eloquent, more sensitive and more of an amazing match than the all-too-real known quantity of the flesh-and-blood people they do life with. As Focus on the Family’s Dr. James Dobson said early in the days of the internet when we were discussing the ugly downside of online relationships, of course the fantasy wonderfulness (my words, not his) of the other person is going to overshadow the spouse who leaves socks or towels on the floor!

Emotional Dependency bookletSomeone has put a New Age spin on an old, old temptation of relational idolatry. Putting another person or the relationship up on a pedestal as the most important thing in life is idolatry, and it is sin. Lori Rentzel nailed this concept in her excellent essay “Emotional Dependency.” (You can find the essay online here. It is also available published as a little booklet by InterVarsity Press.)

Interestingly, as I read about “twinflame” to a friend who spent decades as a lesbian activist, her comment was, “Oh, there’s the beginning of a lesbian relationship!” The intensity of relational idolatry is a counterfeit to true intimacy no matter the gender of the people involved. (Consider my blog post The Dark Underside of Female Friendships.)

You asked about supposed “telepathic tendencies and reincarnation belief.” There can certainly be a demonic component to this kind of relationship because there are layers of deception going on, including belief in previous lives. Probe has several articles and answers to email about reincarnation you might find helpful (and no, Jesus didn’t preach about reincarnation because it’s not real):

The Mystery of Reincarnation – A Christian Perspective
Does the Bible Talk About Reincarnation?”
“Was Reincarnation Ever in the Bible?”
“You Should Research Reincarnation and the Lost Words of Jesus”
Reincarnation: The Christmas Counterfeit

What can you say to your family member to let them know that “twinflames” don’t exist? How about something like, “I am very concerned that you are buying into a deceptive lie about this other relationship that threatens to wreck your marriage and your spiritual life. I’ve done some research; please consider that the concept of ‘twinflames’ is a made-up idea to justify illegitimate attractions to another person. I can give you more information if you want it.”

I send this with a prayer that God will open the eyes of your family member before he drives his marriage off a cliff.

Blessing you,
Sue Bohlin

Posted March 2017
© 2017 Probe Ministries