I would like to know the meaning to the word LUCKY. I have been told that it means Lucifer has smiled on me and blessed me. If this is true where do I find this information?

If you go to dictionary.com, this is what you’ll find:

lucky
adj. luckier, luckiest

   1. Having or attended by good luck. See Synonyms at happy.
   2. Occurring by chance; fortuitous.
   3. Believed to bring good luck: hoped to draw a lucky number.

There’s nothing there about Lucifer. What you heard is something someone made up, and there’s nothing to it.

From a Christian worldview, there IS no such thing as luck, because God is in control of everything. There’s such a thing as blessing, but not luck. God is in control; Satan is not. In fact, at the cross he was stripped of all real power (see Col. 2:15). All he has is wiles and lies, and if we arm ourselves with the truth we can fight him all the time.

Hope this helps.

Sue Bohlin
Probe Ministries

Dear Sue,

Just recently we have been looking at some old photos of when we first moved into our old house and there was a sign out the front that said “BEWARE MILITANT ANGELS GUARD THIS PROPERTY.” And I was just wondering what this meant. Are these good, bad or ugly angels? Please email back even if you don’t come up with anything.

Boy, the people who had the house before you had quite a sense of humor! There are no such things as militant guardian angels, since militants are people who are angry and rebellious. The demons who fell from heaven were militant against God, but they’re into destruction, not protection. And the holy angels who protect us are submissive, not militant.

I think the sign is in the same category as the humorous signs I’ve seen that say “This property protected by an attack cat,” and they mean a household kitten.

At any rate, your e-mail made me smile, and I appreciate it. Let me encourage you that it’s cool and you have nothing to worry about.

Warmly,

Sue Bohlin
Probe Ministries

A friend of mine posed this question to me. I would like to pass it along for your reflection:

Thanks for any insights that I could pass along to him.

This is a big issue in theological circles today–sort of the “God version” of the “what did he know and when did he know it?” question. The debate over the extent of God’s foreknowledge is called “open theism.” (Check out Rick Wade’s article called “God and the Future“).

But I can tell you what we believe. God does, indeed, know every single detail of the future, which is why the Bible contains accurate prophecy of future events–because not only did God know they would (and will) happen, but because He is sovereign, He superintends them.

I think many people misunderstand the concept of “free will,” which is not a biblical term. The reality is that while we have the ability to make truly significant choices, we don’t have truly “free” will. You cannot, for example, choose to wake up tomorrow morning in China when you go to bed in Chicago. Or wake up speaking Chinese when all you know is English. You cannot choose to be a different gender than what God made you. (Yes, I’m aware of sex-change operations and know people who’ve had them–we’re not even going there! <smile>) But we can make choices that make a difference: for example, in our attitudes, in who we marry and most importantly, which God we serve. We have limited freedom in our choices, and God does not force us to choose things His way; He respects our choices. But we do not have totally free will.

I think your friend misunderstands the concept of God’s sovereignty (“one way or another — He will execute His plan and carry out His promises”) if he thinks that God can have a plan and execute it if He doesn’t know everything that’s going to happen. You can’t have it both ways. A God who is not omniscient cannot be sovereign. A sovereign God MUST be omniscient.

Hope this helps!

Sue Bohlin
Probe Ministries

Dear Sue,

Quick question. What is your view on sperm/egg donations? Do you think it is wrong to be a donor? Why or why not? This is an interesting topic.

Quick answer. Yes, I think it’s wrong to seek—or be—a donor. Because the creation of a new human being is supposed to be the product of love and commitment in a marriage relationship, not a consumer commodity that we produce simply because we want a baby. Any time there is a sperm or egg donor, that means people are going outside the marriage relationship to get what they want, which means a type of adultery.

In the case of infertility, this is a difficult and emotional issue, but I think we should remember that no one has the “right” to have a baby. It’s like saying, “OK, God, You’re not cooperating to give me what I want, so I’m going to get it my way.” Same thing for people who want to be parents but aren’t married; having a baby is about getting what they want, not about what’s in a child’s best interests (which is always going to be a mother and father in a stable marriage).

This is a great example of why the “technological imperative” is wrong; simply because we CAN, doesn’t mean we SHOULD.

Thanks for asking.

Sue Bohlin
Probe Ministries

Dear Sue,

I hope I can word all of this correctly and in the most concise manner possible. Thomas Aquinas of Renaissance times said one must question what he believes rather than accept things blindly. This was the whole mindframe of the rebirth from the dark ages. My mother of modern times says she doesn’t question her faith because she wants to stay strong in her beliefs. I agree with Aquinas. Whatever is in quotation marks in this letter is an excerpt from my history teacher’s e-mails to me. He wrote, “The first step in believing something for yourself is figuring out what you believe versus what others have told you to believe.” He said I should decipher “propaganda from purpose.” He studied different religions alongside Christianity such as Buddhism, Islam, and Hinduism, and even though he didn’t buy into them he realized that they were all promoting the same basic ideas: “The golden rule is in every major religion.” Major religions all include the idea of the flood and most promote a moral system for promotion. I know I’m kind of jumping around but I hope you’ll still be able to figure the labyrinth of my mind. He wrote, “Doubt is the seeding ground of wisdom.” It drives people to find out about their faith and strengthens their beliefs. He points out the seeming contradictions in the Bible. Here come some more quotes! “The last line of the Lord’s prayer is an addition by a monk. .. Luke 19:45-48, Matthew 21:12-16, and Mark 11:15-18 show Jesus turning over the vendors at the temple after His Triumphant entry into Jerusalem.”

I agree with Aquinas.

I do too, which is why I’m glad I was able to catch up with you in the bathroom at church where I could use the wall to illustrate the point that it’s the strength and credibility of what we believe in, rather than the strength or fragility of our faith, that matters. That’s why it’s okay to question Christianity: it can MORE than hold up under scrutiny. Just like that wall was more than adequate to stand up to me pushing against it.

He wrote, “The first step in believing something for yourself is figuring out what you believe versus what others have told you to believe.”

That’s true. Part of growing up means examining our beliefs that sit in our head like canned goods sit on the shelf of our mind, and we decide which ones we’re going to keep and which ones we’re not. Once you believe to keep the “can” of a belief, it becomes yours instead of your parents’ or your teachers’. HOWEVER! The most important question is not, “Do I believe it, or was I merely taught to believe it?” but “Is it true, regardless of whether I believe it or not?”

He said I should decipher “propaganda from purpose.”

Who can argue with that? The bottom line question, again, is “Is it true?” And how can we know if something is true or not, apart from information from “outside the box” (the box being the world and our human experience)? That’s why we as Christians depend on revelation: God is giving us information from His perspective, outside the box. That’s a big way (and the ultimate way) we know whether something is true or not.

He studied different religions alongside Christianity such as Buddhism, Islam, and Hinduism, and even though he didn’t buy into them he realized that they were all promoting the same basic ideas: “The golden rule is in every major religion.”

There’s a big difference between all religions sharing a particular element (e.g., the golden rule) and all religions promoting the same basic ideas. We can find some truth in every religion, but that doesn’t make the religions themselves true because they don’t correspond to reality. Only Christianity corresponds to reality.

I think it’s interesting how many people can “study” world religions and come to the conclusion that they’re all basically the same. Eastern religion is radically different from Christianity: the concept of reincarnation and karma is vastly different from the concept of one birth, one death, then judgment.

Furthermore, Christianity says “There is no way anyone can get into heaven on their own because only the good and perfect and holy can get in.” Other religions, if they even believe in a heaven, depend on their own good works. Christianity says, “We are dead in our sins and separated from God.” Other religions say, “Our efforts can overcome our sin.” Christianity says, “Jesus Christ is the only way to God.” Other religions say, “There are many ways to God.” Christianity says, “Christ living inside you is your power source and allows you to live a live pleasing to God.” Other religions say, “You’re on your own” or, worse, the New Age religions promise the lie, “You ARE god!”

Major religions all include the idea of the flood and most promote a moral system for promotion.

First of all, the fact that major religions all have a flood story/myth/legend says something powerful about it being a real event! What’s significant to me is that the flood story as recorded in our Bible is the one that Jesus endorsed when He quoted from that Bible, when He talked about Noah as a real person.

Secondly, about promoting a moral system for promotion: what is that but a system of human works? Why would we be surprised that all religions, which address the subject of morality, would talk about good works? Again, though, Christianity is completely different from all other religions in this department. It claims that there is nothing we can do to promote ourselves, to climb any ladder of goodness and morality because we are sinners. “Promotion” comes from accepting Christ’s righteousness in exchange for our sinfulness. What a swap! That isn’t found in any other world religion–what human would have thought it up???

I know I’m kind of jumping around but I hope you’ll still be able to figure the labyrinth of my mind. He wrote, “Doubt is the seeding ground of wisdom.” It drives people to find out about their faith and strengthens their beliefs.

Doubt, if it means being openminded to finding or being reassured of the truth, may well be a seeding ground of wisdom. But I am concerned whenever ANY teacher holds up the banner of doubt as “freethinking” as if choosing to continue to believe your beliefs is closeminded and controlled. Please see this teacher as a threat to your faith. God may well be using him to help you build your faith at the same time, but know that the enemy uses disillusioned teachers to destroy students’ faith all the time. It’s not an accident; it’s a deliberate attempt to spread the enemy’s poison. It’s a spiritual battle, and the teachers and professors are unknowing pawns being manipulated by the enemy in the heavenlies just as surely as if they were marionettes. And ironically, they *think* they’re being “freethinkers!”

He points out the seeming contradictions in the Bible.

There’s nothing wrong with examining SEEMING contradictions. Usually they come from not seeing the whole picture.

Here come some more quotes! “The last line of the Lord’s prayer is an addition by a monk.”

And how would he know that?

“…Luke 19:45-48, Matthew 21:12-16, and Mark 11:15-18 show Jesus turning over the vendors at the temple after His Triumphant entry into Jerusalem”

Right. Who said there could only be one cleansing of the temple? If John tells of one cleansing, and the synoptic gospels put a cleansing at another time, why does that make it a contradiction instead of an addition?

I’m so proud of you for not being afraid to face the questions. You have nothing to be afraid of. The very power of God is behind the philosophy and words of scripture, which assure you that what you believe is indeed the truth. It will always stand up to your study and hard scrutiny. What may not stand up are your assumptions about things that God never said in the first place, and that’s not a bad thing! (For instance: there are people who suffer with their desire to get up and dance to a great, moving, rhythmic song, but they believe—because they’ve been taught—that dancing is sin. But God never said it was! That’s a man-made rule that doesn’t stand up under the searchlight of “Hath God said. . .?”)

Hang in there! You have all the supernatural assistance possibly available to you!

Love,
Sue

Dear Dr. Bohlin,

I read your article regarding sexual purity, and I am forever grateful to God that He has given me strength to resist the temptation for 27 years of my life. Boyfriends come and go, yet I still manage to keep that area pure. I am now in a very serious relationship with a guy that I have known for a long time. He is a great person, very smart, and an active member of church. As we discussed the subject of sex, I recently learned that he’s not a virgin, as I had suspected from the tears in his eyes. He told me that he had to come clean before we go further in our relationship. It was his biggest mistake that he gave in to temptation, and he withdrew from all church activities and didn’t take the holy communion until he felt that God has forgiven him.

The thing is, the fact really tore my heart. I told him that I needed time to get used to this, to re-think about the whole relationship, and to pray to God for strength. I love him very much, and he loves me.

Even though now the sting doesn’t hurt me like in the beginning, sometimes my own imagination still tortures me. I never asked him if he slept with anybody else beside that one person. Part of me wants to know more details about his sexual past (all these times, I assume he only slept with one woman), but the other part of me is afraid of the consequences from knowing more details. What should I do? How much details should I know? He has assured me that we will put God first in this relationship, and we will help strengthen and guard each other as we grow closer in the relationship to resist sexual temptations. So far, we’ve been doing very well.

He’s not a player type, everybody knows that. But why did he fall into temptation. . . somehow I don’t understand the contradiction. He’s not the type that would do such a thing, he even told me that, but somehow, it was like being hypnotized, he gave in to sin. *sigh* Tonight, my imagination is running wild again, the thought of him sharing his body and soul with someone really hurt me. So I decided to write you for advice. Please help me.

Hello ______,

Thank you for writing and I hope I can be of some help to you. I will comment on your situation from a man’s perspective, since you are wondering how such a godly man could fall into such a sin. I have asked my wife Sue (below) to comment on your particular predicament dealing with lingering questions and suspicion.

Unfortunately, especially for young men, sexual temptation is very strong. You made no comment about the nature of the relationship that led him onto sin but I would imagine that the woman was not exactly coerced and probably was the instigator of the sexual relationship. Men in general, and introverted men in particular, can be very susceptible to sin if the woman is the one pursuing or pushing it. The physical attraction for sex is much stronger for men than for women. Women are usually searching for greater personal intimacy while men can be very focused on the physical. If the woman is bypassing the personal intimacy for the sexual, the male finds it very difficult to resist. I have thanked the Lord many times that I have never been pursued sexually. In my younger days this would have been an extreme temptation.

Your boyfriend sounds like a wonderful young man who has sinned, repented and seeks to go on with his life. You can help him greatly by truly forgiving him and deciding to trust him. Everything else you told me makes him sound like a very trustworthy man who fell as we all do. Sue has more to say about your turmoil below.

Dr. Ray Bohlin

Dear ______,

Ray asked for my input as well to give you the fullest answer possible.

I think the enemy is using your boyfriend’s fall to torture you, and he’s winning. I also think that knowing more details will only make it worse for you because it will fuel your imagination, not bring healing. You are being tempted to obsess over his sin as if you have never sinned . . . and the only person who has a right to do that is Jesus, and He doesn’t even think about it! He paid for your boyfriend’s sin, and it cost him not only His life but tremendous torture and suffering first. Since your boyfriend has repented and received forgiveness, for you to hold him and yourself in bondage over this incident is elevating yourself above God. I’m sure you don’t mean to do that!

There is a difference between goals and desires, and great trouble happens when we confuse them. We can set goals that we have control over, like graduating from college or learning to rollerblade, but we can’t set goals for other people’s behavior . . . like a future mate keeping their virginity. It sounds to me like you might have made your future husband’s virginity a goal instead of a desire. And when we can’t have what we desire, the appropriate response is sadness and then forgiveness, not obsession and anger.

That being said, you have a decision to make. Is marrying a virgin a non-negotiable for you? Is it the most important asset in a potential spouse? Is it so important that you would let go of a long list of positive qualities because they don’t count as much as virginity? If so, then stop your relationship right now and acknowledge what it is you want, and tell your boyfriend he can never be good enough for you because he sinned.

On the other hand, if you recognize that you are a sinner as well and you have no right to demand perfection from a husband because you cannot be a perfect wife, then choose to let go of his sin and bury it. And promise both him and yourself to never bring it up again. If you need help forgiving him (and believe me, you haven’t forgiven him or you wouldn’t be tortured by this), then get Chuck Lynch’s excellent book I Should Forgive, But… His chapter “I’m Living With the Memories” will help you, but I can tell you right now that the main point is that you can’t change what happened, but you can choose how you will live with what happened:
• Bitterness and bondage (being out of control)
-or-
• Forgiveness and freedom (being under control)
In order to truly forgive, we need to choose to accept what happened instead of fighting it.

It sounds like this is a wonderful, godly man who fell into temptation and has resolved not to ever do it again. The fact that he was deeply wounded by his sin and has learned from it makes him an even better man. If you are a woman who deserves him, you will take the hurt over his sin to Jesus and turn it over to Him and promise never to take it back so that you can move forward.

As I read back over what I wrote, I realize it sounds waaaaay stronger than I would ordinarily be with someone I don’t know and whose trust I haven’t earned, but I did sense the Lord leading me as I wrote this answer. I sure wouldn’t want you trashing a great relationship because of some perceived notion that you are better than him. Virginity is a wonderful gift to give, but it’s only one of many blessings that people can give each other in marriage. A wise woman concentrates on what she has instead of what she doesn’t have. . . and I do hope you are a wise woman! <gentle smile>

I hope this helps.

Sue Bohlin

SUE BOHLIN Associate Speaker and Web Site Administrator Suite 2000 2001 W. Plano Parkway Plano TX 75075 Phone: (972) 977-8301 E-mail: [email protected] Probe Web Site: www.probe.org Personal Web Site: suebohlin.com

Sue Bohlin is an associate speaker and Web Site Administrator with Probe Ministries. She attended the University of Illinois, and has been a Bible teacher and Christian speaker for over thirty years in addition to being a professional calligrapher. She is a frequent speaker for MOPS (Mothers of Pre-Schoolers) and for Stonecroft Ministries (Christian Women’s Clubs), addressing the subject “How to Handle the Things You Hate But Can’t Change,” based on her experience with childhood polio. Sue serves on the board and as a speaker for Living Hope Ministries, a Christ-centered outreach to those dealing with unwanted homosexuality. She also serves on the Women’s Leadership Team for Bible.org and is a regular contributor to its Tapestry Blog. She and her husband Ray, Vice President of Vision Outreach for Probe Ministries, have two grown sons.

Blog Posts

Probe Publications

Abortion
Angels: The Good, Bad, and Ugly
Answering the Big Questions of Life
Bible Literacy Quiz
Creation & Evolution Q&A for Kids
Dungeons and Dragons and FRPGs
Evidence for God’s Existence
Four Killer Questions
Homosexuality Q&A
Homosexual Myths
The Internet
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus
Ten Lies of Feminism
Why Dr. Laura is (Usually) Right
A Short Look At Six World Religions
Worldproofing Our Kids
The Value of Suffering
Harry Potter
Can Homosexuals Change?
5 Lies the Church Tells Women
Protecting Your Family on the Internet
Boys Are From Mars, Girls Are From Venus: Raising Gender-Healthy Children
Myths Christians Believe
Same Sex Marriage
The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands
Tuning Up Your Baloney Detector: Learning to Think Critically
Trash Your Marriage in 8 Easy Steps
Your Work Matters to God
What God Says About Sex
The Dark Underside of Abortion
The Darkness of Twilight
The Glory of Grace
What a Biblical Worldview Looks Like

The Galapagos Islands: Evolution’s Sacred Ground
100 online photos with accompanying text of Ray and Sue’s trip to the Galapagos Islands with the Institute for Creation Research in May 2003

Contributing author, Marriage, Family and Sexuality: Probing the Headlines that Impact Your Family, Kregel, 2000.

Probe Lectures

Angels
Abortion
Feminism
Four Killer Questions
Homosexuality
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus
Cherishing Your Child’s Gender
Protecting Your Family on the Internet
Raising Godly Sons and Daughters
The Value of Suffering
Why Marriages Fail

Apologetics:
Worldviews: What Is True?
Evidence for the Existence of God
The Deity of Christ
The Authority of the Bible
Is Jesus the Only Savior?
The Problem of Pain and Evil

Women’s Retreat Messages

[Click here for descriptions of topics]

How to Handle the Things You Hate but Can’t Change
Seeing Ourselves from God’s Perspective
Learning To Give Thanks as a Way of Life
Changing Our Negative Self-Talk
Forgiving: Being A Woman of Grace
A Gentle and Quiet Spirit
The Power of Being a Woman
Seven Secret Passions of Woman
Obstacles to the Wellspring of Joy
An Accurate View of God
Unpack Your Bags, This Guilt Trip Is Cancelled!
What Are You Doing Pushing That Porsche?
Look in the Mirror, Your Royal Highness!
Standing at the Foot of Niagara Falls
Holiness
The Value of Suffering
Thinking Like Jesus Does
Good and Angry
Becoming an Encourager
Communication in Marriage
Your Work Matters To God

3-Part Series “Daughters of the King: Bring On the Bling!”
Daughters of the King: What does it mean to be a princess?
Real Bling: What are true riches?
Bling Tarnish: What diminishes the brightness of God’s glory in us

4-Part Series on Prayer
4-Part Series on Inductive Bible Study and Colossians

I just read your article about evidence of God’s existence. I just want to say that this world is quite far from being perfect. A perfect world would be a world free of racism, hypocrisy, and genocide just to name a few. If God had made a perfect world it would have been a world free of these things. And the section about Jesus being the “proof,” well there is no proof of there being a Jesus except the Bible which may be false also.

You are so very right. This world IS quite far from being perfect. However, this isn’t the world that God created. That world was absolutely perfect, with no racism, hypocrisy or genocide. But Adam and Eve chose to go their own way and disobey God, and when they did they plunged the world into awful consequences they could never have foreseen. A world of ugliness and hate and violence, in addition to the evils you mentioned. In fact, as I watched the attacks on the World Trade Center, I thought what a horrible parallel it was to how God must have felt when His beautiful, perfectly-working world was devastated and defaced by sin. We call it “the fall,” and as I watched both towers collapse I thought what an apt description it is of what happened to our world back in the Garden of Eden.

This, however, does not change the fact that our world is perfectly designed to sustain life. What hurtful things happen on the earth, and how the earth was fashioned and placed here with just the right parameters to support life, are apples and oranges. Completely different issues.

Concerning there being no proof of Jesus’ existence, well, I guess you haven’t really seriously examined that, or you would have discovered that there is more evidence for the existence of Jesus than for most other famous people in the ancient world. I’m sorry, I can’t take your criticism any more seriously than the young man who came up to me after a conference and told me he didn’t believe he existed. I can take YOU seriously, and I do, but not your charge. It won’t hold water. There’s a whole discipline called “history” that would prove your charge to be groundless. At the very least, allow me to suggest you read my colleague Michael Gleghorn’s article Ancient Evidence for Jesus from Non-Christian Sources.

Sue Bohlin
Probe Ministries

I checked out the article where you and that guy were making comparisons between Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, and the Bible. That discussion really interested me because I am reading Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, and I began thinking as I was reading it and I developed a theory… First I thought about older people (ages 55 and up). I have seen so many of those older couples still holding hands and being very loving together. I found my self asking what is so different in relationships today and relationships in the fifties and earlier? Why do so many relationships fail today and not in those yester years? I came to the conclusion that Christianity must have been the key. Not only does the Bible provide instruction for healthy relationships, it also provides people (believers) with a feeling of fulfillment. Never before have I ever really understood the real reason for the verse “Do not be unequally yoked.” It causes a real strain on relationships, and I have been through many unmeaningful and heartbreaking relationships. I was wondering since you have read the whole book Men are From Mars and Women are from Venus if you could help me with my most recent relationship problem.

I have a great boyfriend–he is very beautiful on the outside and inside, he is considerate in fulfilling my needs, buying me gifts, and taking on his fair share of the cooking and cleaning responsibilities. I really love him for that. I know that he likes me or else he wouldn’t be with me and he says that when I ask him how he feels about me. Actually he says you know how I feel about you why else would I be with you, and if I say how I feel about you too much it won’t mean as much. How should I go about telling him that it means the world to me every time I hear (which is totally not enough and I feel unfulfilled because of it) him say how much he cares about me and I really need some reassurance right now about his feelings or I will have to leave him because I am very fragile right now and every day I grow more and more insecure in how I feel as to where I am in our relationship. I am even starting to question if he really wants me to go with him when he asks me if I would like to go out with him and a friend for lunch. Then he gets mad and says I wouldn’t ask you if I didn’t want you to come. I constantly wish he would just give me some reassurance, any kind, because I feel myself hurting soooo much, and I know he is hurting too because he doesn’t like to see me sad. I think that he has a really hard time expressing how he feels towards me because he has been single for 30 years now (he has had long relationships that end badly) and like MAFMWAFV says that men start to love people and they pull away so they can find their own self because they are afraid they will lose their sense of independence. Do you think that he is really struggling with something like that or what do you think I should do to solve my problem? I really sincerely love him and I don’t want him to slip away because I don’t understand or know something that I should. When I am done my formatted and fully (to the best of my knowledge and understanding) completed correlation between the Bible and MAFMWAFV I will send you a copy. I know you probably get about a million emails a day so if you can’t answer mine I want you to know that I feel a little better just having gotten all of this off of my chest. Thank You Sue!

Wow, sounds like you have your emotional plate full. Question: are you living with your boyfriend? (Otherwise, why would you mention “his fair share of the cooking and cleaning responsibilities”?) If you are, no wonder you’re so insecure! Tell me, what are you getting out of this relationship? It sounds like you’re giving him the benefits of having a wife without requiring that he give you the commitment of a husband.

That’s a big reason why God wants us to be married before setting up house. It sets us up for major pain to give ourselves away without a foundation of trust.

Trust is everything, and trust is closely tied to commitment. If I were you, I would pull waaaaaay back and stop giving yourself away without a commitment. If he loves you, he will pursue you and marry you. If he’s just “enjoying the milk without buying the cow,” (to use an old expression), then if you leave and he doesn’t pursue you then you will know he is using you. Even if he’s fond of you, he’s using you. With your permission. (Ouch!) Which is not a way to demonstrate self-respect.

I would also suggest that you read Gary Chapman’s book “The 5 Love Languages,” and ask him to read it or listen to it on tape. Sounds like your love language is verbal affirmation, and he needs to know that you need to HEAR verbal appreciation and affirmations of love to feel loved. I cannot tell you how disrespectful it sounds to hear the excuse “If I tell you all the time how I feel about you it won’t mean as much.” Ask him why he eats all the time instead of only at Thanksgiving. I mean, eating all the time diminishes the meaning of eating, right? Wrong! It nourishes his body, just as hearing “I love you and I appreciate you” nourishes your heart and your relationship.

I hope these observations help. I am concerned for you because it sounds like you’re the one paying emotionally in this relationship, and you’re treating yourself poorly. I like what psychologist Dr. Phil says: “We teach people how to treat us.” Sounds to me like you’re teaching your boyfriend that it’s OK to get what he wants from you without any reciprocal commitment on his part. Doesn’t sound fair—or healthy—to me! And for SURE it isn’t what God commands in scripture, which is a way to protect and provide for women’s fragility and need for security.

You might also want to read Dr. Laura’s (Schlessinger) The 10 Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives. It’s a good read because it is consistent with biblical values. . . such as the value of marriage and purity and commitment and servant leadership.

I hope this helps!

Sue Bohlin
Probe Ministries

I want to thank you for the well written article “A Short Look at Six World Religions” and how they relate to Christianity. My small group has been studying this subject and this goes right along with what we have been studying. I would like permission to make printouts for the other members of my group (about a dozen people) since some do not have Internet access.

I recently had a chance to go through the “Contagious Christian” course and then to talk to two Jehovah’s Witnesses who came to my door. I did just as you suggested, talking to them boldly about my faith in Jesus as the Son of God but also as one of the three persons of God. It is difficult to help people understand how God can be Jehovah, Jesus and the Holy Spirit and not be three gods.. but I feel that if I can totally understand God then maybe He isn’t big enough to help me with all of my problems. And I know that God is big enough for all of my problems. Even big enough to give me the answers I need if I pray and seek.

Our pastor recently preached a sermon that was brought back to me by your article. His words (paraphrased) were:

Religions promise to show a way to God…
Jesus says, “I am the Way.” Religions say that there are many truths…
Jesus says, “I am the Truth.” Religions promise to show light…
Jesus says, “I am the Light of the world.” Religions promise a chance for eternal life…
Jesus says, “I am the resurrection and the life.” Religions offer guides…
Jesus says, “I am the Good Shepherd.” Religions offer to show us god (or gods)…
Jesus says, “I AM.” Besides that, Christianity is the only “religion” with a living Founder. I say, why follow a loser?!

Guess that about breaks down the differences! 🙂

Thank you for your kind words. I’m so glad my article is helpful to you! Of course you may make printouts, for as many people as you want–that’s why we have them online, and I am honored that you want to do this!

I am familiar with the list your pastor offered, and think it’s one of the best supports for our faith in Jesus as Savior. Especially as we just celebrated Resurrection Day—why would anybody want to serve any religion founder other than a Risen God? No placing flowers on Jesus’ tomb for us! Praise the Lord!

The Lord bless you and keep you.

Sue Bohlin
Probe Ministries