What if someone really believes that they were saved at a young age (14). . .but is then faced with an unwanted pregnancy at age 15 . . .and she terminates the pregnancy even though she KNOWS in her heart that it was wrong – do you believe that she can be forgiven? God tells us that He will never put more on us than we can handle . . .so what if we make the WRONG choice . . .what if we take the easy way out??? Do you think he can forgive us for this? I mean . . .what about the sacredness of life . . .I mean a baby is the most innocent of His creation . . .I hope with all my heart that it can be forgiven. . .but I just don’t see how!!! I interfered with His plan!!! Plus what about the scripture in Proverbs . . .about a man being tortured by the guilt of murder shall be a prisoner forever . . .let no one support him . . doesn’t this mean that I’m supposed to be tormented by it FOREVER!!! and no one should help me????
Okay . . .Here’s my story . . . [Story edited out]
Thanks so much for listening . . .this has been hidden for so long that it has been so difficult re-living it!!! Maybe it is my judgment to live with this internal struggle . . .maybe I’m not supposed to find peace . . .
What a mess I’ve made of my life!!!!!!!
Dear ______, precious child of God, beloved daughter of the King—
I am so very very VERY glad you wrote! I hurt with you. . . in fact, there are tears in my eyes as I write this to you—-my heart hurts for you and for the burden you have been carrying all these years.
Let’s get to the bottom line first: In Jesus’ name, YOU HAVE ALREADY BEEN FORGIVEN!!! Because you have trusted Christ, the first time you confessed your sin of abortion and asked for God’s forgiveness, He gave it to you. In fact, He POURED His forgiveness out on you like an anointing of oil. Listen to 1 John 1:9:
If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
You confessed your sin, and because He is faithful and He is just (meaning, Jesus already paid for your sin at the cross), God the Father not only forgave you of your sin, He cleansed you from the stain of your guilt. Your feelings of being unforgiven and dirty and shame-filled have been lying to you, because the truth is, you are forgiven and clean and accepted in the Beloved (Eph. 1:6 KJV)
I want to challenge you to do something that will help you really GET this truth. Three times a day (at least), say out loud, “Thank You, Lord for forgiving me because Jesus died for me. I receive Your forgiveness and I receive Your cleansing. Thank You for making me clean and pure again.” It really helps to say it out loud so that your spirit hears those words of truth come out of your mouth. This is the way of faith, the way we receive God’s blessings by faith even before we feel them.
You have some work to do to get to the point where you can feel unashamed and pure again—but that’s not a matter of EARNING those things, but of changing your thinking so that you can embrace the reality that is yours to live out. Is there an Abortion Restoration or Recovery ministry near you? Ask the Lord to show you if there is; I don’t know of any network of programs to check with, but I can point you to an excellent workbook you can do on your own. This is the book that is used at our church for the Abortion Restoration class that healed, post-abortal women offer a couple of times a year.
Her Choice to Heal by Sydna Masse and Joan Phillips
Also, there are a couple of websites where you can do some reading that will be very encouraging to you as you work your way through the necessary grieving of the loss of your baby (who is in heaven, and you will see him or her again someday!), and the necessary forgiving of those involved: yourself, the boy who got you pregnant, your parents, the Planned Parenthood people, and anyone else who played a part in the trauma to your soul.
After Abortion
After Abortion Message Boards (Online Christian Support at the above site)
I also suggest you listen to a lot of praise and worship music so that you focus on the Lord and let Him minister His love to you. As you do that, there’s one prayer I would strongly suggest you pray, regularly: “Lord, show me how much You love me.” He LOVES to answer that prayer!
You have not gone further than God’s grace can reach, and you have done nothing that He cannot turn into good, for His glory and for your benefit. God wants to soak His grace down into the very bottom of your soul. Jesus’ blood has covered and cleansed your sin, and you are clean and forgiven because He loves you so much He paid the ultimate price to prove it to you.
I’m glad you told me your story, because with every telling, you release more of the shame and the guilt, and you take another step toward healing. Who knows. . . some day you may find yourself telling your story to young girls BEFORE they make the same mistake you did, and you will watch God redeem your pain to change lives to His glory!
I SO hope this helps.
Warmly,
Sue Bohlin
Probe Ministries
+ + + + + + + + + +
Addendum: I received this note from someone who works in abortion recovery ministry:
Hi Sue,
I was just reading your response to the email question: Can I be forgiven for my abortion? My heart is heavy for her and I am lifting her up in prayer.
She might also locate a recovery support group in her immediate area by doing a zip code search at www.optionline.org.
About the same time, I received this wonderful letter from the original writer:
Dear Sue,
I did find a place that ministers to women like me. . . and I am planning to participate in the “Forgiven and Set Free” Bible study. I’ve been through the study guide 3 times and I can’t even tell you how much it helped me!! I know that I am not alone and I will continue to work on my healing…
I wanted to share a poem that I wrote with you—it comes from my heart. . .
A Baby’s Perspective. . .
I can hear her talking with someone ~ I know it is all about me . . .
She says she’s just not “ready” and the TRUTH she cannot see . . .
The truth that You made me and meant for me to be with her . . .
That You would never put more on her than she is able to endure.
For You created my inmost being & placed me in her womb. . .
But she does not realize this and will make a choice real soon.
Please be with her and help her to make the choice that is right . . .
And to know that NOTHING can be hidden from Your sight!
For I am a precious baby and deserve the right to live. . .
If she could only know ~ I’ve got lots of love to give!
They have NO RIGHT to decide to remove me from this place. . .
But I know that real soon I will be looking upon Your face.
For You are already aware of the choice she will make. . .
Oh God ~ she just doesn’t realize all that is at stake!
For as hard as she tries ~ she will be UNABLE TO FORGET. . .
I just pray someday she will feel the NEED to REPENT!
And when that time comes ~ help her to cope with what she’s done. . .
And to find strength, love and compassion in the arms of Your Son!
For the blood of Jesus can purify her from all of her sin. . .
No matter how SEVERE & HORRIBLE it might have been!
I know she feels scared inside as I can hear her every cry. . .
She even prays and wishes that You would let HER die.
She is being faced with a TREMENDOUS internal struggle. . .
So many feelings and emotions she will try to juggle . . .
The biggest decision she’s faced thus far has been ‘what to wear’. . .
But now she feels as if she is living a TERRIBLE nightmare!
Please help her to realize the truth before it is too late . . .
That a baby is a precious gift and NEVER a mistake!
These people talking to her right now don’t even have a clue!
They are telling her what they believe she really needs to do.
They tell her she would be better off without me in her life. . .
Even though he says he loves her -she’s too young to be his wife!
They tell her: “You must make a choice and do it really fast . . .
Then you can get on with your life and put this in the past. . .
Just go and take care of this ‘problem’ and never think of it again”
Oh – God – Don’t they even realize the SEVERITY of this sin-!?!??!
Why is this the ONLY advice that they have to give !!?!?!?
That it’s not in her best interest to even let me LIVE!?!?!
They tell her that she has so much to look forward to ~
And forgetting about this “situation” is all she needs to do!
How can they make this option sound so easy and so right??
Oh – please God ~ before it’s too late – help them to see the light!
Please forgive them – they do not know what they are saying!
When instead they should be on their knees and praying!
She is now talking to her mom about her big “mistake”
Surely my grandma will help her before it is too late!
But instead I hear my grandma say she doesn’t want me to be born. . .
She says that I will only bring the family a lot of shame & scorn.
God – please be with them as they face this tragic event. . .
And when it’s all over – please show them their NEED to REPENT!!
What are they thinking!?!? – THIS SHOULD NOT EVEN BE AN OPTION!!!
I never once heard anyone mention the possibility of adoption!
Why do they continue to talk as if I’m not “real”. . .
That I’m just a “blob of tissue” and really “no big deal”
They do not know that You made me and have a Plan for me. . .
If only we could open their eyes so that THIS they would see!
Sooner or later she will be faced with the reality of her action. . .
And grief, despair, guilt & shame will be part of her reaction.
When this time comes – God please help her to know that it is true . . .
That there is NOTHING in this world that You cannot do!
And when my mommy is forced to deal with this someday . . .
Please let her know when she seeks You ~ everything will be okay!
That Your amazing Grace and abounding love will see her through . . .
That all she needs to do is to place all of her trust in You!
When she puts her faith in Jesus and what He did on HER behalf. . .
Then surely You will save her from all of Your wrath!
For You sent Jesus into the world to save us from EVERY sin. . .
From even the most horrendous ones that are hard to comprehend!
Please help her to realize that in Your Word she needs to trust. . .
That if she confesses this sin to You, You will be faithful & JUST. . .
You will forgive her and make her “pure” again. . .
And You will no longer remember this terrible sin!
So please let my mommy confess & feel Your presence in her heart. . .
So that she will realize that she can have a brand new start!
Please protect her from all the people who will be quick to condemn. . .
For You said let him throw the first stone who is completely without sin!
For ALL sin separates us from You and no one is “good” enough. . .
For being “perfect” and always doing “right” is just way too tough!
For we have a “sinful nature” – the bible says it through & through. . .
But if we believe & trust in Jesus we can be made completely “new”!
For You can turn ANY situation into GOOD for Your glory. . .
She may even help others someday by telling her story!
For Your love is GREATER than we can ever comprehend. . .
And Your Grace covers even the very worst of sin!
Even though I wish we would never have to be apart. . .
Please let her know I still love her with all of my heart!
Tell her I forgive her and forgive herself she must . . .
For I am in heaven with You and in that she can trust.
I pray that someday she will come to You with this big “mess”. . .
And I know that You will help her in her time of great distress. . .
When she finally finds you -in Your loving arms she will stay. . .
And I will be so very happy that I will see her in heaven one day!
Sue Bohlin
Sue Bohlin is an associate speaker/writer and webmistress for Probe Ministries. She attended the University of Illinois, and has been a Bible teacher and conference speaker for over 40 years. She is a speaker for MOPS (Mothers of Pre-Schoolers) and Stonecroft Ministries (Christian Women's Connections), and serves on the board of Living Hope Ministries, a Christ-centered outreach to those dealing with unwanted homosexuality. Sue is on the Bible.org Women's Leadership Team and is a regular contributor to Bible.org's Engage Blog. In addition to being a professional calligrapher, she is the wife of Probe's Dr. Ray Bohlin and the mother of a son in San Francisco and another son who joined his baby sister in heaven in 2024.. Her personal website is suebohlin.com.
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