The Dec. 15 (2008) issue of Newsweek features a breathtakingly biased essay called “The Religious Case for Gay Marriage.” The author, Lisa Miller, has a high view of homosexuality and a low view of scripture—and an even lower view of those of us who dare trust in God’s word. (Managing Editor Jon Meacham supports Ms. Miller’s piece in his column: he says the “conservative resort to biblical authority is the worst kind of fundamentalism.”)

Both Ms. Miller’s logic and her understanding of scripture and theology are riddled with problems. Let’s look at a few.

The biblical illustrations of marriage are so undesirable that no sensible person would want theirs to look like it. Abraham slept with his servant because his wife was infertile. Jacob fathered children by four mothers. Polygamy abounded in the patriarchs and the kings. Jesus and Paul were unmarried, Paul regarding “marriage as an act of last resort for those unable to contain their animal lusts.”

People have been making this mistake for years, taking the narrative sections of scripture and inferring that this is what God says to do since “it’s in the Bible.” As my friend Dan Lacich put it, it is the mistake of taking the “descriptive” and making it “prescriptive.” That would be like charging the editorial board of the Dallas Morning News with being pro-murder and pro-steroid abuse because it published news stories about those issues.

It’s true that the Biblical account includes a stunning array of ways to mess up God’s simple and beautiful plan for marriage. If we keep reading, it also includes the heartbreaking consequences of violating that plan. And, in the Song of Solomon, it also includes a lavish treatment of romantic love between a husband and a wife that illustrates how good it can be.

“[T]he Bible is a living document, powerful for more than 2000 years because its truths speak to us even as we change through history. In that light, Scripture gives us no good reason why gays and lesbians should not be (civilly and religiously) married—and a number of excellent reasons why they should.”

It’s clear Ms. Miller agrees with Bible scholar Alan Segal that “the Bible was written by men and not handed down in its leather bindings by God.” (I’ve never come across a single individual who actually believed a physical book was plopped in anyone’s lap from heaven, but we keep hearing this argument.) Robert Gagnon, professor of New Testament at Pittsburgh Theological Seminary, points out that while scripture has a human element, it is not merely the compilation of human ideas. The ideas behind the words written down by men come from the mind of the same God who created men and women, and who invented sex and marriage. Ms. Miller is wrong about gay marriage because she disregards the truth of God’s word in favor of human philosophies, about which we are warned not to be taken captive (Col. 2:8).

“Most of us no longer heed Leviticus on haircuts or blood sacrifices. Why would we still accept its stance on homosexuality?”

Ms. Miller mentions the two proscriptions against homosexual behavior in Leviticus 18 and 20 as “throwaway lines in a peculiar text given over to codes for living in the ancient Jewish world.” This is a common argument for dismissing the Bible’s stance on same-sex behavior, but it’s not that simple. Both chapters forbid child sacrifice, adultery, incest, bestiality, and homosexuality. Why wrench the one verse on homosexuality out of each chapter’s context to throw away and keep all the surrounding prohibitions? We never hear this argument used to normalize having sex with one’s child or one’s father or one’s dog. Nor should we. Ever.

Sexual issues are moral issues. They are not in the same category as laws for haircuts or blood sacrifices. We know this because sexual laws don’t change over time, as did civil and ceremonial laws. Moral commands are rooted in the character of God, specifically His purity and holiness. His character does not change over time, and neither do His commands about how we are to express our sexuality.

“While the Bible and Jesus say many important things about love and family, neither explicitly defines marriage as between one man and one woman.”

If we’re looking for an in-your-face 21st-century kind of Bible verse that says “Marriage is only between one man and one woman,” we won’t find it. What we do find is an equally in-your-face first-century teaching about marriage from the lips of the Lord Jesus Himself. In Matthew 19:4-5, He puts back to back two important verses from the foundational creation account of Genesis 1 and 2: “Male and female He created them (1:27) and said, ‘For this reason a man shall. . . be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh’ (2:24).” (Also found in Mark 10:6-8.) This was the creation. This was the original intent. All variations on this are corruptions of God’s intent.

Jesus never mentioned homosexuality. . .

He didn’t have to, for the same reason we have no record of Him denouncing nuclear war. It was unthinkable in the Jewish culture to which He spoke. If you look in the historical records of the time, references to homosexuality just aren’t there. Not that it didn’t ever occur in private, but that it was off the “radar screen,” so to speak. There were also no advocates for same-sex relationships in the Jewish culture. (But there were in the Gentile culture to which Paul was called as an apostle, which explains why he addresses homosexual behavior and calls it sin.)

Dr. Gagnon writes about Jesus,

“Telling his audience in first-century Palestine that men should stop having sex with other males would have been met with perplexity since the point was too well known, too foundational, and too strongly accepted to merit mention. I myself have never been in a church where the pastor explained why believers shouldn’t be in a sexual relationship with their parent, child, or sibling or shouldn’t enter a polyamorous relationship. I have never thought that the reason for this is that the minister was open to incest or polyamory of an adult-committed sort.”

. . .But he roundly condemns divorce.

Again, Dr. Gagnon insightfully points out:

“Jesus takes time to condemn divorce/remarriage not because it is a more serious violation of God’s sexual norms than homosexual practice—or than incest or bestiality, two other sexual offenses that Jesus also never explicitly mentions—but because it, along with lust of the heart, was a remaining loophole in the law of Moses that needed to be closed. The law already clearly closed off any option for engaging in homosexual practice, incest, bestiality, and adultery, whatever the excuse.”

The Newsweek article closes with a quote from Ms. Miller’s priest friend James Martin. “In his heart he believes that if Jesus were alive today, he would reach out especially to the gays and lesbians among us, for ‘Jesus does not want people to be lonely and sad.’” I couldn’t agree more. I can easily picture the Lord walking into gay bars with a warm smile on His face and open arms, ready to look straight past the shame that holds so many same sex attracted people in its grip, and offer them the embrace of grace instead. But He wouldn’t be officiating at any gay weddings. He would lovingly exhort them, one by one, as He did the woman caught in adultery: “Go and sin no more.” It’s true He doesn’t want people to be lonely and sad. His intention is for the community of His body to provide the sense of legitimate belonging and significance that people are seeking in gay marriage. As is often the case, the joy He offers is so much more than our too-little dreams and hopes. But it’s freely available.

I am grateful for the insights of two excellent commentaries on this issue:

Dan Lacich’s blog, Provocative Christian Living, http://provocativechristian.wordpress.com/2008/12/12/newsweek-magazine-and-the-case-for-gay-marriage/,
and
Dr. Robert Gagnon’s article “More than ‘Mutual Joy’: Lisa Miller of Newsweek against Scripture and Jesus,” http://www.robgagnon.net/NewsweekMillerHomosexResp.htm

This commentary was originally published on Tapestry, the Bible.org Women’s blog, and is used by permission.

When I saw the question: “My Wife is Seriously Ill: Does That Mean No More Sex Forever?” and the answer, it touched me deeply and filled me with great resolve to be celibate as God commands. When I read “when God has made it off limits for some people,” I knew that was speaking to me and it was a great blessing but it brought up a very important question.

I’ve lived a life of service and have come to accept that it is not in God’s plan for me to be married. But I’ve only recently come to understand that it was my deep loneliness that was instrumental in bringing me to sins of a sexual nature. Sins of masturbation, homosexuality and cross-dressing.

My question is: How can those of us who have sinned by doing things of a sexual nature fill the void of loneliness so we may better break free from the acts of homosexuality, masturbation, and other sexual sins?

You know, men like you are my heroes for your willingness to face the dark corners of your soul and invite God to be the God of Light in those dark corners so that you can bring glory to Him in every place of your being!!

What I have learned from years of ministry to those dealing with unwanted homosexuality is that the aching void of loneliness is addressed by developing emotionally healthy relationships with other people (especially godly, non-erotic same-sex relationships) in the Body of Christ. God’s plan is for us to experience connection with other believers, such as David and Jonathan, who experienced a deep, real, God-glorifying same-sex friendship (and of whom we are told, their hearts were “knitted together”—by God, presumably). If there is a men’s ministry in your church, or if you can find a place to make connection with other men especially, and with other believers in your church, that will help with the loneliness issue.

At the same time, it’s important to have a plan for something ELSE to do when your flesh is raging (and you will experience greater temptation during times of stress). The key is to pre-decide on an activity that is incompatible with masturbation, cruising and cross-dressing—something like going for a run. It makes a huge difference to have a plan PLUS an accountability partner that you can call when you’re struggling with temptation. I pray you will find one.

Are you familiar with Joe Dallas’ excellent book Desires in Conflict? He can help you understand the dynamics of the homosexual struggle and how God brings healing.

Also, there is a free online support group at Living Hope Ministries You can find connection with other men who are learning to be overcomers in the same struggle. Most are not cross-dressers, but all struggle with homosexual attractions. It’s a safe place to be real and find strong support. http://forums.livehope.org

The Lord bless you and keep you today!

Sue Bohlin

© 2008 Probe Ministries

The November 2003 decision by the Massachusetts Supreme Court that gave homosexual couples the constitutional right to marry has intensified debate about same-sex marriage. There are currently six different court cases concerning same-sex marriage. The topic of same-sex marriage will be in the news and part of popular discussion. Therefore, here are a few key talking points on the subject of homosexual marriage.

1. Right vs. privilege: Gay activists talk about the “right” to get married. Yet in the next sentence they talk about obtaining a marriage license. Marriage is a privilege, not a right. Therefore, the state must have a standard for issuing a license. We don’t give a license to anyone who wants to drive a car. You must know basic information and demonstrate an ability to drive. We don’t grant a medical license to just anyone. Someone must demonstrate a level of competence. Marriage isn’t a right, it is a privilege that the state can and should regulate.

2. Devalues marriage: Giving same-sex couples the right to marry devalues true marriage. Imagine if at the next awards ceremony, everyone received an award. Would anyone value the award if everyone received one? Any adult is permitted to marry another adult of the opposite sex. But you can’t marry a child, you can’t marry a blood relative, you can’t marry someone already married, you can’t marry someone of the same sex.

3. Basic biology: Homosexual relations deny the self-evident truth that male and female bodies complement each other. Human sexuality and procreation is based upon a man and a woman coming together as one flesh. Marriage between a man and a woman promotes procreation and makes intimate sexual activity orderly and socially accountable.

4. Public health: Homosexual sex is dangerous and destructive to the human body. The International Journal of Epidemiology reports that the life expectancy at age 20 for gay and bisexual men is 8 to 10 years less than for all men. If the same pattern of mortality were to continue, researchers estimate that nearly half of gay and bisexual men currently 20 years of age will not reach their 65th birthday.

5. Counterfeit: Arbitrarily granting a marriage license to a same-sex couple doesn’t constitute marriage. It is a counterfeit of true marriage. It is like trying to tape two same-sex electrical plugs together to form an electrical current.

6. Monogamy/fidelity: Same-sex marriage will not be monogamous. One lesbian writer calls gay marriage “monogamy without fidelity.” Another homosexual columnist writes of “a broader understanding of commitment.” A recent Dutch study found that homosexual relationships last, on average, about 1-1/2 years and that men in those relationships have an average of eight partners per year outside their main partnership.

7. Children: Marriage between a man and a woman is the ideal family unit. It promotes procreation and ensures the benefits of child rearing by the distinct attributes of both father and mother. Two research papers by Timothy Dailey for Family Research Council (Homosexual Parenting: Placing Children at Risk and Homosexuality and Child Sexual Abuse) document concerns about children raised in gay marriages.

9. Majority rule: A recent poll by the Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life found that public opposition to gay marriage is increasing. In July, 53 percent opposed same-sex marriage. By October 59 percent were opposed to same-sex marriage.

10. Popular vote: States legislatures have already spoken to the issue of same-sex marriages. Thirty-seven states have already passed a Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) stating that marriage is between a man and a woman. In 1996 Congress also passed a national DOMA.

11. Religion: The Bible teaches that homosexuality is not natural and is wrong (Romans 1:26-27, 1 Corinthians 6:9-10). Other religions also concur with this judgment.

12. Emotional: Gays and lesbians are relationally broken people. Just as in heterosexual marriage, two broken people cannot produce a whole, healthy unit. However, heterosexuals can get help for their brokenness and repair the relationship, but the relationships of homosexual couples are intrinsically and irreparably flawed.

Sue, your work (I was just on your web page: www.probe.org/angels-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/) sounds like that of your so called “Bad” or “Ugly” angels. Helping people who want to leave homosexuality—you scare them to? What I’ve read here I’m afraid to say is almost complete utter bollocks. I laugh in your face and hope you do something worthwhile someday. I think the words in other religions are equally as valid as your “Holier than thou” book. Hey check out any books by Aleister Crowley and also: Jesus Lived in India by Holger Kersten. The Bible–Xeroxed for thousands of years, translated several times, usually (ie. King James) not very well. You are deluded, and I feel sorry for you. (only a little!) 🙂 Hey! Do the world a favor–lighten up and stop bible bashing.

Hello ________,

Have you ever gone to a restaurant and looked at a menu? You might have found items on the menu you weren’t interested in. My husband, for example, really dislikes fish and won’t ever order it. But no one in the restaurant tries to force the fish down his throat.

I understand that you think what I have written, and where I choose to devote my time, is utter foolishness to you, and that is your right. But it is available to those who are looking for wisdom and information from a Christian world view, and that is why I have it on the website.

You have a lot of opinions but not much in the way of supporting evidence. I, on the other hand, am such a convinced Christian because I have investigated the evidence, which you might find compelling if you ever approached it with an open mind.

Should you get to the point where you find your beliefs aren’t consistent with reality, and your life isn’t working for you. . . bookmark our website. There is truth and light here for those who seek it. For those who don’t—nobody’s forcing them to eat fish when what they want is tofu.

Cheerily,

Sue Bohlin
Probe Ministries

Thank you for a great website and ministry. I also thank you for a place where we can come to get some help. So here is my question. I am talking to some homosexual men about gay theology. They are convinced that the relationship between Jonathon and David was a homosexual relationship.

Their basis for that is 1 Samuel 18:1-4, and 2 Samuel 1:26. I have tried appealing to context of these verses, the fact that both these men have wives and children, and the simple fact that even if this was true, it doesn’t change God’s law one iota. All to no avail. I have been attempting to do a word study on the word love, as it is used here, and in a heterosexual union, to see if there are any differences in usage, but my resources are limited, and I have not been able to pin anything down yet. I was wondering if you could help me at all in this area, and any other approach you think may be useful.

I am cognizant of the fact that no matter what I say, it may do no good, as it appears their minds are made up. However before I give up, I would like to cover as many of the bases as I can.

The burden of proof to make David and Jonathan’s relationship more than friendship is on your gay friends. There is nothing in the text to indicate there was anything more than a godly, committed friendship between two men who deeply loved each other. You aren’t missing anything by reading a translation because there’s nothing hidden in the Hebrew.

However, there is also nothing you can do to dissuade them from reading what they want to find into what’s not there. The heart’s capacity for deception is far greater than we give ourselves credit for. You CAN say, “You are reading a gay relationship into the text but it’s not there, and there’s nothing I can say to make you change your mind because you want it so badly to be true. We’ll both find out in the end, won’t we? In the meantime, I am praying that God will show you the truth.”

It’s frustrating, I know. But you’re right, and they’re not, because they are caught in spiritual deception and what author Joe Dallas calls in his book of the same name “A Strong Delusion.”

I hope this helps.

Sue Bohlin
Probe Ministries

On your “answering email” web page “God Made Me Gay” I read this question:

“Thanks for your answer! I have prayed to the Lord to make me straight! Why does he not answer?”
Your answer was long, but this was the core of it:

“Well, God would say to him, ‘Dear one, that’s what I intended you to be all along, and I still do. But we’re going to have to undo the damage that sin has caused in your life. There are matters of generational sin, unhealthy patterns of family relating—we need to refashion your life into the pattern of My original intent.”

The problem that I see with this is scriptural. Let’s take a look at what Jesus said:

“And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.” John 14:13-14

I am sure that the person who asked you the question has made a prayer like this one:

“God, please make me heterosexual. I ask this in Jesus’s name so that my life may bring glory to you.”

I think this sounds like a fair thing to ask of God, don’t you? And, according to Jesus’s words, he should do it, as he said that we WILL DO ANYTHING that one asks in his name. As it happens for many gay Christians who hurt and struggle, God does not answer this prayer.

Your excuse for God’s failure is that “[t]here are matters of generational sin, unhealthy patterns of family relating” which, apparently, defy God’s omnipotent power and boundless love and mercy.

My question for you is, which chapter and verse in the Bible state that God will not give someone heterosexuality if they ask for it in Jesus’s name because there are matters of generational sin, unhealthy patterns of family relating?

Great question.

“God, please make me heterosexual. I ask this in Jesus’s name so that my life may bring glory to you.”

I think you left out an important word. Often, what people really mean when they pray this is, ‘”God, please make me heterosexual NOW.”

I think this sounds like a fair thing to ask of God, don’t you? And, according to Jesus’s words, he should do it, as he said that we WILL DO ANYTHING that one asks in his name. As it happens for many gay Christians who hurt and struggle, God does not answer this prayer.

Jesus didn’t say anything about His timetable, though. He DOES answer this prayer, and has for many people, but He doesn’t answer it overnight.

I think the “Please, please let me wake up straight” prayer (which I know has been prayed by so very many) is in the same category as prayers like, “Oh God, I am so afraid of this upcoming surgery/French test/job review. Please let me wake up and it will all be over and behind me.” Or, “Dear God, I hate being 10 and ugly. Please make me be 25 and all grown up and beautiful and happy.” There’s nothing wrong with the request, and God invites us to come to Him with every desire of our hearts, but He doesn’t promise to give us what we ask for within minutes or hours of the prayer.

Your excuse for God’s failure is that “[t]here are matters of generational sin, unhealthy patterns of family relating” which, apparently, defy God’s omnipotent power and boundless love and mercy.

I would suggest God is not failing. I would suggest that the issue is unrealistic expectations–that God should act like Tinkerbell and sprinkle magic pixie dust and make everything OK. But gender identity, sexual orientation, and a weakness for emotionally dependent relationships are complex issues that can’t be “fixed” overnight.

In fact, one of my dearest friends, a former gay activist, had a most unexpected experience with God. Within moments of trusting Christ, she heard the voice of God thunder in her spirit: “YOU ARE NOT GAY!” She did discover that she wasn’t drawn to women as sex objects like she had been before, but within a couple of months of her conversion she found herself in a short-lived lesbian relationship. She was now a Christian, she knew God had said she wasn’t gay, but she didn’t have anything to work with except her old ways of relating to people and her old ways of making life work on her own. She wasn’t attracted to her new girlfriend the way she would have been before, but she was so desperate for connection and to feel loved that she entered into the only kind of relationship she knew how to have: one that was mutually exploitative.

It’s been several years since that experience, and she has since learned how to have friendships with women in her new church that are about giving, not getting, that are holy and glorifying to God, but it’s been hard work to get to the place she’s at, and she’s still having to work through all the garbage from her life that she brought into the Kingdom with her. She’s known since the time she became a Christian that she wasn’t gay, because God told her she wasn’t gay, but she also didn’t know how NOT to be gay, and learning takes time.

Were God to do a miracle that made a struggler into a non-struggler, he or she wouldn’t know who they were or how they got there. It would be like waking up with amnesia and discovering one was married to a stranger, employed in a job they didn’t have the skills for, and living in a city they’d never been in before.

My friend complained one day to me that she wasn’t attracted to women anymore, but she sure wasn’t attracted to men and she SURE didn’t know how to relate to either women OR men now because she’d had this major emotional earthquake that really complicated things. (Interestingly, as she developed her relationship with Christ and He started doing some hard work in her soul, she started reporting an attraction to certain kinds of men. It’s been like doing junior high as a 35-year-old.)

My question for you is, which chapter and verse in the Bible state that God will not give someone heterosexuality if they ask for it in Jesus’s name because there are matters of generational sin, unhealthy patterns of family relating?

Two responses: first, if you literally mean this, then I’m afraid you don’t understand how to read the Bible. We look at principles in the Bible, in the context of everything else that it says, to figure out what God’ s intention is. Otherwise, you end up with questions like, “Which chapter and verse tell us not to have abortions?” and “Which chapter and verse prohibit child abuse?” There are no such chapters and verses, but we can still discern what God wants us to know.

Secondly, when someone asks for heterosexuality, God’s response would be, “I already made you heterosexual. ‘In the beginning, God created them male and female.’ The problem is that you believe lies about yourself. You have an incorrect understanding of your identity: you are not homosexual, you are My child who struggles with same-sex feelings and the legacy of sinful behavior. It takes time to unravel those lies and misunderstandings and the destruction of sin so that you OWN the truth about yourself. It takes time to develop new habits to replace the sinful old ones. Walk with Me, surrender to Me, and let Me tell you who you really are.”

I hope this helps.

Sue Bohlin

© 2005 Probe Ministries.

I came across your website when looking for articles on Edgar Cayce. I then noticed your feelings towards homosexuals and me being a homosexual took insult to that. Now you state the bible is in fact the holy word, meaning it’s the word of God. God is perfect therefore, the bible is without errors or fault. Now I am not going to able to quote verse from verse, but I do know some things about the bible. In fact I went to parochial school for thirteen years. I know that in the bible there is a verse which states, man shouldn’t lie with other men, that is immoral. But I also know, that in the bible the very same statements we use in heterosexual marriage today, to love one another through sickness and health until death due us part, is also, used between two women in the bible. I believe it was Ruth and someone else, if you want I could research the specific verse and names.

I also know, there is a paragraph in Samuel 2 I believe, regarding the love held between David and Saul’s son Paul? I don’t know the name. I do remember the verse stating, how David stripped in front of Paul, David kissing Paul and how the love David held for Paul was greater than any other love he could hold for a woman. Now you’re going to probably respond to these statements by saying, it’s all how we interpret what God is telling us. How nothing can be specified towards condoning homosexuality. You’re also probably going to say that those acts were the acts of David and Paul not of God himself. When God made the bible, don’t you think he made it so that generations could understand his underlying meaning that no matter who or what his words came into contact with, his underlying meaning would stand out bold over anything else and that no matter what corruption or falsification may have occurred throughout the time, during the creation of the printing press, in translations of verses to different languages and etc.

Don’t you feel that God himself being so against homosexuality as you say, would not include promoting verses in the bible of homosexuality? And if this sin was so immoral, don’t you think God would have condemned it in more than one or two verses? That considering possibly ten percent of the population of the world is homosexual and probably more due to society’s prejudices. Wouldn’t he have driven a stronger message than just one or two vague paragraphs condemning it? One or two paragraphs that could have been misinterpreted or mistranslated. I was wondering what you feel about those two stories?

I’m so glad you wrote; I hope I can clear up some misconceptions you might have about what the Bible actually says about homosexuality and same-sex love.

But I also know, that in the bible the very same statements we use in heterosexual marriage today, to love one another through sickness and health until death due us part, is also, used between two women in the bible. I believe it was Ruth and someone else, if you want I could research the specific verse and names.

Apparently, you’ve been listening at some weddings you’ve been to! <smile> You’re right, there is a verse from the book of Ruth that is often quoted at weddings, Ruth 1:16–“But Ruth said, ‘Do not urge me to leave you or turn back from following you; for where you go, I will go, and where you lodge, I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God, my God.’”

This is unfortunately a good example of people wrenching a great-sounding verse out of context and using it despite what it meant when Ruth said it. Probably not too many brides know that these words are the promise of a young widow to her mother-in-law! 🙂

But as you can see, this woman’s pledge of loyalty is not the same as the “for better or for worse” wedding vows we hear at weddings. The fact that it’s heard at weddings doesn’t mean that Ruth and her mother-in-law had a lesbian relationship. In fact, the book is about a love story between Ruth and her future husband Boaz. (Their son was Obed, whose son was Jesse, whose son was David, which brings us to your next question.)

I also know, there is a paragraph in Samuel 2 I believe. Regarding the love held between David and Saul’s son Paul? I don’t know the name. I do remember the verse stating, how David stripped in front of Paul, David kissing Paul and how the love David held for Paul was greater than any other love he could hold for a woman.

Good call on the location of the Samuel 2 passage; you’re very close. There are actually three passages you’re thinking of here.

In 2 Samuel 1:26, David is lamenting over the death of his best friend Jonathan: “I am distressed for you, my brother Jonathan; You have been very pleasant to me. Your love to me was more wonderful than the love of women.” I am familiar with the assessment of this marvelous statement of inspiringly loyal friendship and love as a homosexual relationship, but the text doesn’t support it. There is nothing in the stories of David and Jonathan’s friendship that even hints at a homosexual relationship. But the friendships of men who have shared intense experiences can indeed be in a very different, very wonderful category than husband-wife relationships. Men who have fought together in battle, for example, often report a type of closeness with each other that some never experienced with their wives because it was a different kind of love and relationship.

In 1 Samuel 18:4, “Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was on him and gave it to David, with his armor, including his sword and his bow and his belt.” This was not a sexual disrobing; this was Jonathan’s (the king’s son) way of honoring his dear friend David by giving him his royal robe, his armor, his sword, his bow and his belt to show him that he believed David to be a greater warrior than he was. He probably also knew that David had been anointed the future king of Israel, and this was his way of saying “I’m on your side, David!”

Also, in 1 Samuel 20:41, it says, “When the lad was gone, David rose from the south side and fell on his face to the ground, and bowed three times. And they kissed each other and wept together, but David wept the more.” This is a very emotional farewell scene where Jonathan is sending David away because he found out that his father, King Saul, has determined to kill him. The fact that the men kissed each other is not indicative of an erotic kiss, but the way that men greeted each other and said goodbye in that eastern culture. It is still the same way today. Surely you have seen some of the recent video footage of Middle Eastern men greeting each other by kissing on the cheeks (or sometimes an “air kiss”).

If you read the story of David and Jonathan from start to finish, I think you will find that it is the story of a godly, warm friendship between two men, not a homosexual relationship. There just isn’t anything there in the text to warrant such a reading.

When God made the bible, don’t you think he made it so that generations could understand his underlying meaning that no matter who or what his words came into contact with, his underlying meaning would stand out bold over anything else and that no matter what corruption or falsification may have occurred throughout the time, during the creation of the printing press, in translations of verses to different languages and etc.

Well said, and yes I do believe that. However, to quote Paul Simon in “The Sound of Silence,” “A man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest.” This is particularly true of the Bible, I believe. It’s not that hard to figure out what God means; the Bible is not written in difficult, mystical language. When it’s poetry, it’s poetic, but the important doctrinal statements and commands are written in very clear terms.

Don’t you feel that God himself being so against homosexuality as you say, would not include promoting verses in the bible of homosexuality.

Yes, I do, and thus the burden is on those looking for verses condoning homosexuality to find them without twisting certain words out of context. Including cultural context, such as the eastern custom of men kissing.

And if this sin was so immoral, don’t you think God would have condemned it in more than one or two verses.

Well, actually, as a parent, when I told my children something was wrong, I meant it the first time. How many times does God have to say something to make it true? Just once, I would suggest.

However, He does condemn homosexual behavior in more than one or two verses:

Old Testament

Before they had gone to bed, all the men from every part of the city of Sodom–both young and old–surrounded the house. They called to Lot, ‘Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us so that we can have sex with them’ (Gen. 19:4-5).

Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable (Lev. 18:22).

If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads (Lev. 20:13).

New Testament

The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of men who suppress the truth by their wickedness, since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. . . . For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. . . . Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. . . . Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion (Ro. 1:18-19, 21, 24, 26-27).

Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral not idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders . . . will inherit the kingdom of God (I Cor. 6:9-10).

… just as Sodom and Gomorrah and the cities around them, since they in the same way as these indulged in gross immorality and went after strange flesh, are exhibited as an example in undergoing the punishment of eternal fire. (Jude 1:7)

… realizing the fact that law is not made for a righteous person, but for those who are lawless and rebellious, for the ungodly and sinners, for the unholy and profane, for those who kill their fathers or mothers, for murderers and immoral men and homosexuals and kidnappers and liars and perjurers, and whatever else is contrary to sound teaching… (1 Tim. 1:9-10)

One or two paragraphs that could have been misinterpreted or mistranslated.

I’m afraid the burden of proof would be on you to come up with the correct interpretation or translation. Hebrew and Greek are not extinct languages that make it difficult or impossible to check what the original was. The Bible is very internally consistent about homosexuality, in both Old and New Testaments. It is not God’s intent, which is holy heterosexuality. Jesus Himself even said in Matthew 19:5 that going back to the creation account, God’s intent was that “a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”

I am familiar with the argument that the passages against homosexuality have been misinterpreted or mistranslated, but it’s interesting that the proponents of this view don’t have any trouble accepting “thou shalt not kill” and “thou shalt not steal.” Only the passages that they don’t like. Which is why I think we should keep in mind the insight of Paul Mooris who wrote in Shadow of Sodom, “But if I were a Christian homosexual, I think this one question would disturb me most: am I trying to interpret Scripture in the light of my proclivity, or should I interpret my proclivity in the light of Scripture?”

That considering possibly ten percent of the population of the world is homosexual and probably more due to society’s prejudices.

Population statistics are revealing that it’s more like 2-3 percent. Alfred Kinsey’s statistics are not reliable, but the 10% statistic has been repeated so often people believe it’s true. I would also suggest that someone’s self-identification as homosexual is not dependent on society’s prejudices. No one CHOOSES to be homosexual; erotic same-sex attraction is something they discover.

I’m glad you wrote, ______. I hope this gives you some food for thought. You might not be familiar with the fact that homosexuality is a condition that can be changed. Thousands of people are now former homosexuals. For a difference perspective, may I suggest you read my article “Can Homosexuals Change?”

The Lord Jesus loves you very much, and He accepts you just as you are. But He loves us too much to leave us there. He loves to change us into who He created us to be.

Warm blessings to you,

Sue Bohlin
Probe Ministries

I am not a homosexual, nor do I know any open homosexuals. Yet, I have felt God’s call to study this issue very carefully. Though at times in this essay, I may use strong language, I am very open to reproof–which is partly how I got to my position. I beg for us both to prayerfully submit ourselves to God’s will.

The debate over homosexuality is posed to divide the Christian church. However, a careful reading of Scripture reveals no condemnation of biological attraction to one’s own gender (or of two men or two women marrying), and all Christians, bearing in mind the second greatest commandment, must therefore fight against untruth and prejudice against homosexuality.

Especially if one has already become deeply convinced to think that homosexuality is worthy of condemnation, this paper will not be convincing. Yet, if read in a group that discusses it calmly or read as if dialoguing with one’s own thoughts, this paper should be very convincing. “Therefore, consider carefully how you listen.”

I am using the word “homosexual” to mean a person biologically attracted to his or her own gender–not a merely person who engages in same gender sex. Perhaps the majority of science will be overturned and such persons will be shown not to exist. I cannot operate under such an assumption however, and the burden of proof lies squarely on those would think in such a manner.

[Long commentary on various scriptures edited out]

You base your argument on what I respectfully submit is a faulty premise: “a careful reading of Scripture reveals no condemnation of biological attraction to one’s own gender.”

I have two questions for you.

#1. Please point me to the empirical evidence for a biological basis for homosexuality. I have been studying this issue for several years and cannot find any. (I am already familiar with the studies by LeVay, Bailey and Pillard.) I would be especially interested in reading an explanation for the twin studies where one identical twin identifies as gay and the other as heterosexual. As Dr. Neil Whitehead points out, “If an identical twin has same-sex attraction the chances the co-twin has it are only about 11% for men and 14% for women.” If homosexuality were genetic, the correlation would be 100%.

#2. Why is it important for you to bring your agenda about homosexuality to the scriptures, instead of allowing the scripture to address the issue of homosexuality? Whenever someone says (basically) “Yes, this is what it says, but that’s not what it means,” I look for a presupposition that affects the way they look at the text.

Thank you.

Sue Bohlin
Probe Ministries

You point out that the Old Testament forbids homosexuality. Yes it does, but Jesus’ teachings in the gospels have superseded the primitive teachings of the O.T. For example in Matthew 5:17-34 Jesus systematically rips apart some of the most important Jewish laws. When he says he has come to fulfil the Law, he is not talking about the Pharisees’ law, he is talking about God’s Law. People who say that Jesus agreed with the Jewish laws are completely wrong– even an idiot can see this.

People who practice homosexuality in their own homes, with each others’ consent are not breaking the law “love your neighbor as yourself.” They are not harming anyone! What is harmful though is the constant attack by you so-called Christians on them which provides gay people with much misery. I am not homosexual myself — the reason why I am sticking up for gay people is because I am a Christian. Wake up to the fact that the law of loving your neighbor has replaced the O.T. laws.

Your essays clearly show you have some degree of intelligence — why can’t you see that Jesus’ law is in contradiction to the law of the Jewish scriptures?

Hello _____, Thanks for your e-mail. I will try to respond to your comments as best I can.

You point out that the O.T. forbids homosexuality. Yes it does, but Jesus’ teachings in the gospels have superseded the primitive teachings of the O.T. For example in Matthew 5:17-34 Jesus systematically rips apart some of the most important Jewish laws. When he says he has come to fulfil the law, he is not talking about the Pharisee’s law, he is talking about God’s law. People who say that Jesus agreed with the Jewish laws are completely wrong – even an idiot can see this.

I’m sorry, I fail to see which laws Jesus is ripping apart in this passage. What I see is that He is going beyond the LETTER of the law, to the SPIRIT of the law, to make it abundantly clear that Yahweh is concerned with the motives and intentions of the heart and not merely surface obedience. If a person holds to the SPIRIT (or intention) of the law, he will also obey the LETTER of it. This is a long way from “ripping apart” the law.

I do agree with you, however, that the Lord Jesus did not agree with the Jewish laws that were like fences built around the inspired laws of God, but which were not, in themselves, laws of God. Those laws don’t appear in the Bible though. The commandments against practicing homosexuality, however, were not Jewish laws, but God’s laws.

People who practice homosexuality in their own homes, with each others consent are not breaking the law “love your neighbor as yourself.” They are not harming anyone!

Morality aside, ask any physician how healthy the homosexual lifestyle is. Ask the Center for Disease Control how healthy the homosexual lifestyle is. Ask counselors who are trying to help people leave the homosexual lifestyle and get beyond their painful homosexual desires. Talk to the parents, siblings, spouses and children of practicing homosexuals and ask if they are not harming anyone.

Let’s put the homosexual issue aside and substitute another deviant sexual lifestyle. Do you think you would write to someone and say, “Men who are attracted to pre-school children and entice them into their homes to have sex with them, are not breaking the law ‘love your neighbor as yourself.’ In fact, these men are loving these children–isn’t that admirable? They are not harming anyone! The men are enjoying the sex, and the children are enjoying the attention…and what child doesn’t enjoy attention?”

I would suggest that you would never say something like this, and I would further suggest that the reason such a large portion of our culture has decided that sex between two men using parts of their bodies that were intended for excretion, not sex, is acceptable, is a result of a carefully-planned disinformation campaign. It is not a result of something normal and natural and God-intended.

What is harmful though is the constant attack by you so-called Christians on them which provides gay people with much misery. I am not homosexual myself — the reason why I am sticking up for gay people is because I am a Christian.

It’s interesting to me that you seem so devoted to the issue of “love,” yet do not hesitate to cast aspersions on my relationship with Jesus Christ by calling me a “so-called Christian.” This doesn’t strike me as very loving, or am I missing something?

I’m also wondering if you read my entire article, or just bits and pieces. Because I strongly believe that the responsible Christian response to the homosexual movement is one of deep compassion for the individuals caught in unnatural, unfortunate desires while not compromising on what God has said about the homosexual ACT. In fact, I have received e-mail accusing me of “sticking up for gay people,” to use your term.

People like me who speak out, agreeing with what God has said about homosexuality, are not causing all the misery gays experience. That happens long before someone even comes out or tells their first friend of these unwelcome feelings and attractions. There is misery inherent in a homosexual orientation; it means something is wrong, in the same way that there’s something wrong with someone who is sexually attracted to small children. And that’s why these feelings need to be dealt with and healed, not celebrated as something good and beautiful.

(I will admit, with a great deal of sadness, that there has been a terrible amount of judgmental condescension from Christians towards homosexuals, that has, indeed, caused grief. There is no excuse for not making a distinction between the desires, which are wrong but unasked-for, and the people experiencing them. I know God does.)

Wake up to the fact that the law of loving your neighbor has replaced the O.T. laws.

No, the law of loving your neighbor sums up the O.T. laws. At least the moral ones. If you keep all the moral laws of the Old Testament, you will be demonstrating love for your neighbor. Not stealing, telling the truth, not charging usurious interest against your neighbor, and keeping all sexual activity within marriage are all demonstrations of love for one’s neighbor.

The law against homosexual actions is part of the moral code; the consequence of death by stoning is part of the civil code, which controlled how the people of God were to conduct their lives in a culture where God was their head and not a law-making king. It makes sense for the civil code to be done away with, because the people of Israel are no longer living under that system. But God has not done away with a single commandment of His moral code, because the moral laws are rooted in the person and character of God Himself.

What is it that makes homosexual activity sin? The fact that God has ordained sex to be the glue that holds husband and wife together. Sex is so powerful that it is only safe within the confines of marriage, because it acts like superglue between two souls. Tear them apart and you have broken hearts. So why not make homosexual marriage legal? Because Ephesians 5 says that marriage goes beyond merely a civil convenience; it is an eloquent word picture that God ordained to help us understand the amazing unity within diversity of Christ and the church. Men and women are so different that it’s a mystical union when they come together in marriage. Man and man coming together, or woman and woman, does not provide the dynamic difference that mirrors the “otherness” of Christ-and-the-church. Gay relationships are sameness, not otherness. So gay marriage can never be blessed by God because marriage means far more than simply living together, even having sex together. It’s supposed to teach us something about God.

Your essay clearly shows you have some degree of intelligence – why can’t you see that Jesus’ law is in contradiction to the law of the Jewish scriptures?

Well, I do thank you for the compliment <smile>. . .I don’t see it because it’s not there. Have you read the whole New Testament? How about just the four gospels? If you look at what the Lord Jesus taught, one thing you’ll see is that He mentioned two things people often overlook. One is references to Sodom and Gomorrah as places of judgment, which the Bible makes clear were judged for homosexual sin. Jesus believed in Sodom and Gomorrah, and He believed in the judgment they received. In fact, He was involved in sending the judgment. The other thing is His references to fornication, which means any sex outside of marriage. All homosexual sex is fornication. Even if there is some sort of religious ceremony, it’s still fornication because you can’t get around God’s restrictions on marriage, which is one man and one woman. God is not impressed by our ceremonies when they disregard what He has established.

A lot of people like to talk about Jesus’ law of love; what’s intriguing to me is how they never balance it with the fact that Jesus also talked about holiness, and purity, and justice. While it’s true that many homosexuals love each other, that kind of love still falls short of God’s standard of holiness. There’s nothing holy about what God has called an abomination. That is not “the law of Jewish scriptures” as if they were written by scribes and Pharisees; that is the very word breathed by God Himself. There is no contradiction between the Old and New Testament when it comes to what is moral, what reflects the character of God. Homosexual sin is not love as God defines it, regardless of how the culture tries to persuade people it is.

Thank you for reading this far. I hope what I’ve said gives you something to think about. I also pray that the Lord gives you a higher esteem for the ENTIRE Word of God. Jesus said not one jot or tittle of it would pass away. That’s a pretty high value on it. May we all value His word so highly.

Respectfully,

Sue Bohlin
Probe Ministries

There is a man in our church in his mid forties. I believe he really loves the Lord and is always a blessing to those who need him. We used to often have him to our home, but I noticed that he was often physical with our teen boys (rough-housing, etc.) I felt uncomfortable with this but thought perhaps he just wanted to be an uncle-type image. He has always enjoyed spending time with the young adult and teen men in our church, and, to my knowledge, has never behaved inappropriately with any of them.

We later learned, however, that he struggles with homosexual feelings. This is not common knowledge to others in our church, and we have decided it is not for us to say anything as we love this person and would not want to see him hurt. We told our boys that if they spent time with him it should be in a group or meet at a restaurant for dinner. This has worked well and there have been no problems, especially since our boys know the situation. Our dilemma is this. There is another teen in our church that he sometimes helps and spends time with. He is an 18 year old and I’m sure would say something if a problem occurred (he is also very close to our family). I truly believe nothing has happened. We don’t want to say anything to him or his family, but worry that if something should happen it would be our fault. It seems if someone is struggling with this type of thing, it would be best if he not spend time alone with young men. Am I correct? Just need any advice you might be able to give.

P.S. He does not spend time with younger children….(that I know of) mostly just older teens and young adults. He may just want friendship as a single man.

I asked my friend Ricky Chelette, a pastor and Executive Director of Living Hope Ministries, for help in answering your question. I loved his answer! I hope it helps.

Sue Bohlin
Probe Ministries

As someone who has worked with male strugglers for a long time I appreciate your concerns and your cautions as a mother and friend. I think your concerns are real and I would too have some cautions if this gentleman is spending one on one time with an 18-year-old.

I really think that the best thing to do, as he is your friend, would be to sit down and talk to him. You obviously know that he struggles with homosexuality, yet you love him. He needs to know that. It will be terribly helpful for him to have you in the know and help him in his accountability.

I would suggest that you sit down with him and in a very loving manner state to him. “John, you have been a part of our church and family for a long time and we know that you struggle with homosexuality. We also know that you are a godly man, and we love you so very much. Because we do love you we want to know how we can walk with you on this difficult road. I am sure there are times that it is very difficult for you, and we want to be of help and support to you. How can we help?” He may or may not give you some answers. Depends. But at some point I would also say, “I know you wouldn’t want to engage anyone in our church in this activity, but I do want to caution you about being with some of the younger adults and older youth alone. These are crazy days we live in, and I wouldn’t want someone to falsely accuse you of something you never intended to do (i.e. Catholic Church scandal, etc.). You know we trust you with our boys and they love you greatly. But I do want you to be careful for your own good and theirs.” Something to that effect.

I realize this is a VERY touchy subject, but I think that the cautions are real. I doubt that anything has happened, but at the same time, that age of young adult/older youth 18-26 are prime candidates for someone that is struggling. That is the “ideal” age of our masculinity and those that struggle tend to “idealize” that age and desire that they were the people toward whom they experience same-gender attraction.

I pray that all this has been completely harmless and it probably has. However, you cannot ignore this. It needs to be addressed and you are responsible to him and to the young adults for your knowledge. To say nothing would be a disservice to all.

Many of the folks who struggle with this are very sensitive to younger guys. They feel as though they can give them some of what they didn’t get from their own fathers – touch, affirmation, attention, and love. They are most genuine and pure in that regard and do it with a deep sense of passion for God and for the folks they help. So it well might be that this is the case for the man you speak of. I pray that it is, but the fact that he does struggle should still put some more serious boundaries in his life.

Even if he were a married man, I would say the same thing. I don’t think that a married man should be spending one on one time with a youth or young adult on a regular basis. There is just too much room for misinterpretation. He (your friend) should know that. It is NOT just about his struggle, it is about being smart and safe for everyone involved.

I pray that this will be of help to you. Should I be of further help, please let me know. I pray that God will give you wisdom and grace as you share with him. You are a brave and good friend for addressing this issue with him.

Blessings.
Ricky Chelette
Executive Director, Living Hope Ministries
www.livehope.org