In Kerby Anderson’s article Why Marriages Fail he writes, “Invalidation is a pattern in which one partner subtly or directly puts down the thoughts, feelings, or character of the other.”

What other examples can you give of subtle invalidation?

I decided to answer your question because it’s helpful to have a woman’s perspective in addition to a man’s (as what you read in Kerby’s excellent essay). Here’s what I came up with:

• Rolling the eyes at something a spouse says
• Ignoring the spouse when they’re talking
• A dismissing or contemptuous tone of voice in saying things like “I don’t think so” or “You’re wrong” or “Like you would know anything about that!” (Note: those very words can be used in affectionate banter when said with a smile and in the context of a spouse’s strengths.)
• Any form of sarcasm
• Making plans without consulting the spouse (which would affect the spouse)
• Ridiculing a spouse’s dreams and hopes, even in jest
• Continually rejecting a spouse’s romantic or sexual overtures
• Choosing to spend time chatting with internet friends (especially of the opposite sex) over being with one’s spouse
• Not acknowledging the heart issues behind the words that a spouse shares
• Not looking at a spouse when they’re talking
• Being critical of or ridiculing a spouse in public, even in jest
• In a dispute or disagreement that involves the children, ganging up with them against the spouse
• Saying things to one’s kids like “Oh, your mother is just being wierd (stupid, illogical, emotional, etc.) again” or “Don’t listen to your father, he doesn’t know what he’s talking about”

I hope this helps.

Sue Bohlin
Probe Ministries

I have just read your article on the existence of God. There are SO many mistakes (and assumptions) you have made that I don’t know where to begin:

A “Just Right” Universe?

Of course our planet is ‘just right’ to sustain life. If it were not we would not be here! There are billions and billions of galaxies, each galaxy has billions of stars, and each star has many planets. So although the chances of life occurring are slim, because there are so many opportunities for it to occur, the chances are that it will almost definitely occur somewhere.

The Nagging Itch of “Ought”

This is to do with moral values. Not Christian values, but just plain humanitarian moral values. We know that in order to survive, social chaos is a bad thing. We don’t need a Supernatural all knowing God to tell us this. Common sense tells us to do to others what you would like them to do to you. Do you seriously believe that without God it is impossible to make moral judgements in the interests of mankind? Don’t forget that although we evolved from apes, evolution itself is driven by natural selection, genes that enable us to survive live, and those that don’t die. Obviously murdering, stealing, cheating etc, will increase the odds of that happening to you. Therefore it is not in a species’ interests to have these characteristics, therefore they die out. We have evolved moral values, they were not bestowed upon us by some god!

Evidence of Design Implies a Designer

Have you not never heard of evolution? Evolution is the non-random development of species through time, through random mutations in its DNA. That means that if it mutates in a bad way, the creature dies. If the mutation is beneficial to its survival then it lives and passes it ‘new’ genes on to the next generation. The process can take millions of years to evolve simple self replicating molecules (which can and do occur) into a diverse range of species. And hence give the appearance of design.

The Reliability of the Bible

HA!

Reliable and Bible are not two words I use together in a sentence very often! The Bible is full of holes and contradictions, it is the most inconsistent book I have ever read. If you don’t believe me have a look at the enclosed text file!

Jesus: The Ultimate Evidence

Jesus? The only evidence that can be found to suggest that he even existed. Is yes… in the Bible! Which insistently was written by unknown authors over 150 years after he (supposedly) died. It was also written in a different language than Jesus himself would have spoken!

Thank you for writing. You asked no questions, but only made statements which show me that you have not done much research, but you do have strong opinions. Therefore, I will not attempt to answer your comments since I am sure your time is as valuable as mine, and I doubt that you’re interested in anything that would contradict your opinions.

I did look at your list of contradictions, and they do not trouble me at all since there is a rational explanation for them. The majority of them are like the contradiction my children experienced when my husband called me “Sue” and they called me “Mommy.”

But thank you for writing.

In closing, you might want to consider Pascal’s wager: Either Christianity is true or it’s false. If you bet that it’s true, and you believe in God and submit to Him, then if it IS true, you’ve gained God, heaven, and everything else. If it’s false, you’ve lost nothing, but you’ve had a good life marked by peace and the illusion that ultimately, everything makes sense. If you bet that Christianity is not true, and it’s false, you’ve lost nothing. But if you bet that it’s false, and it turns out to be true, you’ve lost everything and you spend eternity in hell.

Quite a wager. . . and every one of us makes it, either consciously or unconsciously.

So, _____, since you haven’t checked into the things you confidently assert are true (for example: your statement that there is no extra-biblical evidence for the existence of Jesus. Check out the historian Josephus), are you willing to bet your life and your eternity that you’re right?

Sue Bohlin
Probe Ministries

Pascal’s wager? You are asking me to believe in God, just in case he is real! If that has to be my reason, then I am not really believing in him, am I? I look at the evidence, if it convinces me then I will believe, if it does not, then I do not believe. Going by Pascal’s wager I would have to then subscribe to every earthly religion going, (just in case) their god happens to be true, regardless of any evidence! This of course is not feasible.

Asking me why I don’t believe in God is like being asked why I don’t believe that a giant invisible pink unicorn called Dodo created the universe! While it is possible, I see no reason to assume so. . .

Let me ask you a question:

I have done nothing wrong. I lead a good fulfilling life, I am certainly not ‘evil’ just because I don’t hold a strong belief in any god(s).

If you were god, as in creator of the universe and all life etc, would you condemn me to burn in hell for all eternity simply for not believing in you?

I have done nothing wrong.

By whose standards? Yours, or God’s? Even by yours, you’re telling me you have never lied, have never done anything that fell short of your own standards of how people should treat each other, have never done anything you needed to say “I’m sorry” for?

If you were god, as in creator of the universe and all life etc, would you
condemn me to burn in hell for all eternity simply for not believing in you?

No, _____, YOU would be condemning yourself.

Look at it this way. You are an astronaut and you are doing a spacewalk. You decide you don’t like NASA’s ridiculous restrictions about wearing a bulky space suit and staying tethered to the space shuttle, so you decide you’re going to be your own boss and not submit to them. You break the tether and take off your space suit.

Is NASA condemning you to die from lack of oxygen and the freezing cold of space? No. . .they are the source of life to you out there in space. They’re the ones keeping you alive as long as you stay connected to their technology. YOU would be condemning yourself to die.

God doesn’t condemn anyone to a hell separated from Him for eternity. He did everything in His power to make it possible for us to be reconciled to Him. But He does not override our choices, and if you choose to cut yourself off from the only source of life, then you are condemning yourself to eternal death. It’s your choice, not God’s.

You may not want to believe in God, _____, but that doesn’t stop me from praying that He will reveal Himself to you in such a personal and intimate way that you will know beyond a shadow of a doubt that He is there and He loves you more than you can imagine.

Sue

He did everything in His power to make it possible for us to be reconciled to Him. But He does not override our choices, and if you choose to cut yourself off from
the only source of life, then you are condemning yourself to eternal death.

You are contradicting yourself. God, as you define him is all powerful. Therefore nothing is beyond his ability! Right?

Therefore there is plenty that he could do (if he existed) that would convince me of his existence. For example if he appeared in a puff of smoke and perform a few miracles, etc. I might just believe him. However, I am forced to rely on evidence such as the Bible! Which to me is not very convincing! On top of this, I am faced with another dilemma, there are other religions, preaching their own beliefs, which are all just as equally feasible as yours! This is why I remain unconvinced!

You are contradicting yourself. God, as you define him is all powerful.
Therefore nothing is beyond his ability! Right?

No, that’s not true. God cannot contradict Himself. For example, He cannot create a boulder so big He can’t move it. He can’t create a round square. Those sorts of things are logical contradictions. God is logical.

Therefore there is plenty that he could do (if he existed) that would convince me of his existence. For example if he appeared in a puff of smoke
and perform a few miracles, etc. I might just believe him.

You know what? You could come up with any number of hoops for Him to jump through and still not believe. The problem isn’t that the evidence isn’t good enough, _____. The problem is a heart that refuses to accept the evidence that’s already been given. You and Carl Sagan have a lot in common.

Even mentally disabled children can see the evidence of God’s existence and believe in Him. The problem isn’t intellect; it’s a heart issue.

However, I am forced to rely on evidence such as the Bible! Which to me is not very convincing! On top of this, I am faced with another dilemma, there are other religions, preaching their own beliefs, which are all just as equally feasible as yours! This is why I remain unconvinced!

Only on the surface. No other religions explain reality as well as Christianity, but again, until you truly examine them all with an unbiased eye, and not dismiss them unexamined, it will remain a heart issue.

And that’s why I pray for you.

Your friend,

Sue

© December 2000 Probe Ministries

I read your article Evidence for God’s Existence. I have always believed in God until recently when I read some articles by James Randi known to most people as “The Amazing Randi.” He seems to be able to disprove the divine power of people who claim to be able to talk to the dead and move objects with their minds with scientific proof that they are merely just cheap parlor tricks. I believe he is correct not only because he says so but because the bible tells us that Jesus was the last person on earth who could do such things as tell the future or perform miracles etc. But what if Jesus knew these parlor tricks which are as old as the hills? I saw Siegfried and Roy make an elephant disappear right before my very eyes in front of a thousand people and admit to trickery. Who is to say that Jesus didn’t know how to fool the average person in the same way thousands of years ago? Please understand that I am not being a wise guy. I truly have issues with this because I was such a firm believer in God and Jesus Christ. If God doesn’t exist, then I am truly alone and have wasted many hours and prayers on things that would or wouldn’t happen anyway with or without my prayers.

Also, I have been talking to myself all these years and I must be crazy. I realize the consequences of my decision not to believe in God if I am wrong. Somehow that seems trivial while I am still alive. I still go to church every Sunday with my wife. I don’t let on that my faith has been diminished because my wife is such a good God-fearing woman and I don’t want to impose my beliefs on her or anyone else. Especially if I am wrong. What it boils down to is if science can prove that the existence of God is only something that exists in my mind, and the voice I hear inside myself is my own self, then I am guilty of being a fool. For he who teaches himself has a fool for a master. True the earth is a miracle in itself and surely no parlor trick. I can’t explain how it all began if there is no God. But we as just mankind can’t even begin to explain any theory with our limited knowledge of the universe. If Siegfried and Roy can make an elephant disappear in front of all those people and admit it is a trick, yet nobody can figure out how it was done, than it is understandable that the beginning of the world which must be a far greater “trick” and is something that we as ordinary individuals can never figure out. Bad things happen in this world that I feel shouldn’t. I love my family and my pets. I don’t want to see them die. But they must die just as I must die. What if there isn’t anything after death and you just lie there in the ground. That beautiful gift of life has been destroyed. I can’t accept that a loving God would take these things away from me or anyone who hold them so near and dear to their heart. Could it be that God is for the weak minded who need direction and discipline to get through life without going off course for their own good? Is life just a crap shoot anyway where what ever happens, happens whether you pray or not? Please forgive me if I have offended you with my talk of disbelief but I thought if anyone could answer my questions, you could. I don’t mean any disrespect. I need to know that God is really there to hear my prayers and help me to make decisions. I need to know that I am not on my own in this world and my prayers are heard and answered according to his word not just my imagination or wishful thinking.

Dear _______,

Bless your heart! Thank you you SO MUCH for sharing your deep thoughts and fears with me. I have two things to say in response.

1. The best thing Jesus ever did to prove that what He did was true miracles and not tricks was to rise from the dead. How do you counterfeit THAT? The resurrection is the strongest evidence for the truth of Christianity that we have. Consider that the disciples, who had been so disheartened by His death (even though He had promised several times to rise from the dead), were so turned around by seeing Him alive again that they changed the world and were willing to die for their belief in a risen Savior. If it were only a trick, no one would have died for a lie. May I suggest you get a hold of Lee Strobel’s book The Case for Christ and shore up your faith? I think that book will really help. (Consider also other people–like Strobel the former skeptic–who set out to prove the resurrection false, like Frank Morison, and were so overwhelmed by the evidence that they became believers and wrote books like Who Moved the Stone?)

2. I believe that the doubts that assail you are nothing more than spiritual warfare. I think you are being attacked by the spiritual forces of darkness, and I gently suggest you read Ephesians 6 and put on the armor of faith to fight these horrible attacks. I have also been impressed by Kay Arthur’s book Lord, Is It Warfare? to help deal with spiritual warfare in the form of attacking doubts.

_______, I am completely convinced that this period of doubts in your life is like being outside on a bright sunny day when the sun disappears because it is obscured by a cloud. . . temporarily. You are not alone–you would not BELIEVE how many e-mails I get just like yours. You have put your faith in an eternal truth, not in lie. I promise.

Cheerily in Jesus,

Sue Bohlin
Probe Ministries

The spiritual discipline of fasting is new to me and I have several questions about it.

1. When I felt the Spirit move me to fast I was unsure of the direction. I often hear that still small voice and try my best to follow it immediately. Do I need a specific direction in order to fast?

2. I usually fast for 24 hours but I had a pastor suggest we fast for our government officials for half a day. Other than divine direction is there a specific duration that is acceptable?

3. If I fast for a specific desire, not a worldly type but a family type desire, will God honor it if I unconsciously slip and eat then repent and continue fasting?

4. Are there wrong reasons to fast, other than selfish reasons of course?

1. When I felt the Spirit move me to fast I was unsure of the direction. I often hear that still small voice and try my best to follow it immediately. Do I need a specific direction in order to fast?

No. But it might be good to be still before Him, in listening prayer, asking, “What more do You want to tell me about fasting, Lord?” Then listen until He gives further word.

2. I usually fast for 24 hours but I had a pastor suggest we fast for our government officials for half a day. Other than divine direction is there a specific duration that is acceptable?

We operate under grace. The Lord is pleased with whatever you give Him, as long as it’s His idea and His power and not something you do in your own flesh (in your own power without relying on Him). There is no prescribed length of time for a biblical fast; divine direction is the ONLY way to go! When someone makes a suggestion, go to the Lord and ask Him, “Is this what You want me to do?” The answer will either be a green light, yes, go ahead, or a red light, a check in your spirit, and He has a different answer for you.

3. If I fast for a specific desire, not a worldly type but a family type desire, will God honor it if I unconsciously slip and eat then repent and continue fasting?

I believe so. He judges our hearts and knows our intentions. He wants us to succeed more than we do! There is NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Rom 8:1), so just pick yourself up again and keep on going.

4. Are there wrong reasons to fast, other than selfish reasons of course?

Other than self-centered reasons? Only disobedience. For instance, a person might have good and godly intentions to fast, but the Lord says don’t. He knows that he has a blood sugar imbalance but the person doesn’t, and fasting would be dangerous.

Hope this helps!

Sue Bohlin
Probe Ministries

I have been searching for a long time for the answer to a very curious question. I’m a 15 yr old boy, and for a long time I have been having dreams that come true. I’m not sure why. I was wondering if you had any educated guesses. On more than one occasion these dreams have saved my hide, and have never led me away from God. On the contrary, they have strengthened my faith in Him. But the only thing they don’t “shine a light on” is why. I remind myself every day to be humble, but I can’t help wondering if I’m “special.” I was just wondering if you could give me some insight. I am SURE it’s not Satan, dreams aren’t my only specialty. If I concentrate–really hard–I can see through deception. I’m also an empath: I can feel other people’s emotions. And finally, I can heal people, but not like they do on tv. It’s different. It’s more like I feel their pain and fix that, not their body. Anyways, if you have any ideas, please let me know.

P.S.- I’m not crazy, promise.

Hi ________,

First of all, I believe you. You are describing a supernatural kind of life where the power comes from God and not yourself, and that is the kind of “abundant life” that Jesus was talking about bringing to us.

I have been having dreams that come true. I’m not sure why. I was wondering if you had any educated guesses. On more than one occasion these dreams have saved my hide, and have never led me away from God. On the contrary, they have strengthened my faith in Him. But the only thing they don’t “shine a light on” is why.

Concerning your dreams—I think that God communicates to us in dreams all the time, but most of us aren’t listening. People in the Bible gave a great deal of weight to dreams, and God spoke to people through dreams fairly frequently. So your experience is within the boundaries of what is biblically valid. Others have written to me about the same thing, by the way. I think that as long as your dreams continue to draw you to God and strengthen your faith and relationship with Him, it’s a gift for which you can give thanks and enjoy. The important thing is to continue to ask Him for HIS wisdom and interpretation.

I remind myself every day to be humble, but I can’t help wondering if I’m “special.”

Are you special? Absolutely—in the same way that God makes all of us special, and gives us special gifts, abilities, talents and passions, so that we can be like stained glass windows for His light to shine through with special, unique beauty. Please remember that God gives gifts to serve Him by serving others and not for our own enjoyment, although the exercise of our gifts IS a blessing to us. So I encourage you to always be looking to see your gifts as a way to serve rather than to draw attention or glory to yourself.

I was just wondering if you could give me some insight. I am SURE it’s not Satan, dreams aren’t my only specialty. If I concentrate—really hard—I can see through deception.

That sounds like it might be the spiritual gift of discernment, the ability to distinguish between spirits (1 Cor. 12:10). People with that gift are able to spot phonies and liars, as well as to tell when there is evil present. This is an ability that the Holy Spirit gives, and is not a natural ability. The purpose of this gift is to function like an early warning system for the Body of Christ, so the rest of us—who don’t have this gift—can be warned of unseen realities that would hurt us or trick us.

I’m also an empath: I can feel other people’s emotions. And finally, I can heal people, but not like they do on tv. It’s different. It’s more like I feel their pain and fix that, not their body. Anyways, if you have any ideas, please let me know.

The gift of healings is also a spiritual gift (see 1 Cor. 12:9), and again, the purpose of this gift is to bless and serve others. It’s entirely possible that God uses you as His channel of blessing to others to heal their emotional pain.

I do want to make sure, though, that you understand it is essential to be excruciatingly discerning about your dreams, exposing them and your interpretations of them to the light of Scripture. If God is speaking to you through your dreams, it will always—ALWAYS!—be consistent with what He has said in His Word, and never contradict either His Word or His character as revealed in His Word.

Let me know if this makes sense, and especially if these answers bring you peace. I do believe that God leads us and confirms things through the presence—and absence—of His peace.

In His grip,

Sue Bohlin
Probe Ministries

Some people in my family have been diagnosed with chemical imbalance in their brains. In the past I have been a reader of Jay Adams. How does this idea of chemical imbalances (CI) measure up to the Scriptures and spiritual problems? Is this CI something the world has come up with denying the spiritual or is it really legitimate? Where can I find scriptural or spiritual input on this subject? At this point, I believe it is primarily a spiritual problem. Please help!!

When it comes to depression, I have seen people dealing with it because of spiritual issues, emotional issues and physical issues (chemical imbalance). In fact, my husband had anemia-induced depression that was treated by taking anti-depressants for three months. If it were a spiritual or emotional issue, simply taking the meds for such a short period of time wouldn’t have solved the problem.

Our brains are an organ, like our gall bladder, lungs and liver. They can develop physical problems and chemical imbalances; why would the brain be any different? We are not our brains. We are souls—personalities—that have a brain and who live in a fallen world where physical brain problems arise.

I am aware of Christians who try to make everything a spiritual problem, but I think that’s simplifying things too much. After all, scripture says we are made of three parts, spirit, soul and body (1 Thess. 5:23). To try and make depression (which is experienced in the emotions) solely a spiritual issue, doesn’t make sense. Unfortunately, there is a lot of shame heaped on people for treating depression chemically, which I think is unnecessary shame. For instance, I know someone with manic-depression who NEEDS her medications to allow her to function, just as I need physical assistance to make up for orthopedic weakness from polio. There should be no shame in either my cane or my friend’s medications; they are both a matter of accepting help for a real, physical problem.

Along a different line, another friend is a longtime school teacher and principal. She used to pooh-pooh the use of Ritalin for ADD and ADHD, until she researched the issue in depth and reversed her opinion. While there are certainly many kids who are taking it needlessly (quite possibly the majority of them), there are others who have a true chemical imbalance and benefit greatly from taking medication.

I hope this helps!

Sue Bohlin

Probe Ministries

I’ve heard several “spiritual warfare” stories before. My pastor says “stay away from that which is dangerous,” and I understand why he says that. But how do I keep away from having an unhealthy focus on such things, without completely ignoring it? Also, what exactly is spiritual warfare? Why does it happen?

I’m so glad you asked! Your pastor is right to counsel you stay away from that which is dangerous; however, when you find yourself in the midst of a battle zone and you don’t have any CHOICE about being where it’s dangerous, the best thing to do is to be armed and educated about how to protect yourself! A wise teacher once said that the Christian life is like living in a war zone. We don’t have any choice about where to live, but we can protect ourselves in it!

What’s unhealthy is to be focused on demons; what’s healthy is to be focused on Christ and especially on who you are in Christ, the authority you have in Christ, and the importance of staying in moment-by-moment dependence on Christ. (Yes, it IS hard! Which is why we need to do it in the power of the Holy Spirit and not our own strength.)

Spiritual warfare is understanding that as believers, we are under attack by “the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places,” and using the spiritual armor and weaponry to withstand the attacks on our faith. The above phrase comes from Ephesians 6:12, and that whole paragraph (verses 10-18) describes the spiritual armor available to us as believers.

There is an EXCELLENT book and Bible study by Kay Arthur called Lord, Is It Warfare? that I strongly recommend for you. She not only handles the scriptures well but gives good illustrations to help the reader understand what’s going on.

Finally, why does it happen? Because Satan really hates God and hates God’s people. He has lost the war and knows it, but he’s going to inflict as much damage on God’s people as he can before going down. He can’t keep us out of heaven, but he can distract us from concentrating on Christ by throwing doubts about God and about our faith at us. The thing to never forget is that Satan (and his legions of demons) is a defeated foe who was stripped of all weapons by Jesus when He died on the cross (see Col. 2:15). All he has left is “wiles” or “schemes,” which means he whispers lies and questions to us. The battleground for spiritual warfare is the mind, which is why it’s so important to be transformed in the renewing of your mind and diligently pursue a Christian world view so you know what is true about God, yourself, and reality.

I hope this helps.

Sue Bohlin
Probe Ministries

I understand that it says in the Bible that the children may be cursed for generations because of their fathers’ sins. I have two children with autism and a cousin that has a child with autism as well. Could this be a curse since both of our parents are sisters? There has been talk that in our family that relatives from two and three generations back married cousins. Isn’t that a sin?

I believe the concept of generational curses is best understood as the natural consequence of ingrained behavioral patterns that are passed down from one generation to the next. I yelled at my kids when they were small because my mom yelled at us. My brother is a (recovered) alcoholic because he saw our dad drink a lot every night he was home, and he internalized that behavior for himself. The guy down the street mistreats his wife because he saw his father continually do it to his mother. (And societally speaking, there can be generational “curses” when those in one generation make decisions which have effects for generations to come, such as the abortion decision. Our society continues to pay for that errant decision in more ways than the 30 million+ abortions since Roe v. Wade. The value of young innocent life continues to decline.)

We can’t change what we don’t acknowledge, so these behavior patterns (or curses) continue to play themselves out in the lives of those who don’t confront them and decide to stop them. But we CAN change what we DO acknowledge, particularly when we invite the Lord to release His power into an area we want to change.

But what you’re asking about is something different. Marrying cousins isn’t a sin biblically. The laws in place against marrying close relatives such as siblings are there to protect children from experiencing the fallout of recessive genes being expressed; however, the Journal of Genetic Counseling recently released a report that the risk of serious genetic disorders among children of first cousins is much smaller than originally thought (http://depts.washington.edu/mednews/vol6/no15/cousins.html).

Since there is talk in your family of cousins marrying several generations ago, and non-family genes were subsequently introduced through marriage to non-cousins which would strengthen the genetic mixture, I would think that while there is a chance that the autism in your family is connected to the cousin marriage, there’s probably more of a chance that it isn’t. More to the point, I don’t think this is a generational curse since the marrying cousins didn’t break any of God’s laws.

I am so sorry that you are having to deal with autism. That is a difficult burden to bear. Please don’t carry an unnecessary burden of thinking you are dealing with the consequences of someone else’s sin, when you’re probably not.

I hope this helps!

Sue Bohlin
Probe Ministries

Posted 2003

I hope you can give me direction on the issue of Lillith from a biblical perspective. A female student brought up this question: Who was Lillith? I was ashamed that I could not tell her my position on the issue because, quite frankly, I didn’t know who Lillith was. I am a married Christian man so I may not be as tuned in to what our youth are concerned with as I once was. At 34 years, I don’t feel quite ancient either. I don’t want to turn an unsaved girl loose on a quest for knowledge on a decidedly pagan subject. Any help you can offer would be appreciated. BTW, our pastor simply told her she had been reading too much feminist propaganda, an answer that left her with doubts about him. Thanks for your help.  
 

Well, it’s easy not to know who Lillith was because she’s not in the Bible. There is a “Lillith myth” which is no more than a story about Adam’s first wife. Here’s a link that will give you a full story:

http://www.webcom.com/~gnosis/lillith.html

The pastor’s dismissive comment about reading too much feminist propaganda may have been easy for him, but certainly wasn’t going to help HER any! Feminists have, indeed, adopted Lillith as a symbol of their philosophy, and when you read the stories you’ll see why, but that doesn’t tell a young unbelieving girl the truth: that Lillith belongs in the same category as Venus, Medusa and Aphrodite–make-believe for grownups!

Hope this helps. . .

Sue Bohlin
Probe Ministries

What about the issues in the Old Testament with families like masters sleeping with their servants and men having many wives or even the issue of “inter-family” relationships and the like? Was it a population issue? When did the law change? Why was it okay then and not now?

Great question! The problem is, the Bible rarely makes commentary on historical events. If it did, we would see notations like “[and this was not only sinful but STUPID because God’s plan for marriage is one man, one woman for life, and bad things happen when we disobey His commandment].”

The fact that sinful, unwise behaviors are recorded (without commentary) in the Bible doesn’t mean it was OK any more than newspapers reporting on crime means they condone it. They’re both just telling you what happened.

Hope this helps!

Sue Bohlin
Probe Ministries