Cherishing Our Children’s Gender

A wise friend of mine recently took her little boy for a walk down to the lake. Along the way she said, “Parker, let’s look for frogs and toads. Mommy is so glad God made you a little boy so you could like yucky things like frogs and toads.” When they got back to the house, his grandmother asked, “So how was your walk?” and Parker said, “Mommy’s glad that I’m a boy because I like yucky things like frogs and toads.”

Parker’s mommy is a wise lady because she is supporting and cherishing her child’s gender. That little guy is proud to be a boy and glad that he’s a different gender from his mother. And you know what? As he grows up, he most probably won’t struggle with homosexuality. One of the best-kept secrets in our culture is the good news that homosexuality can often be prevented through healthy relationships.

Homosexuality is really about gender identity confusion. Boys aren’t comfortable being boys, and girls aren’t comfortable being girls, and they grow up not fitting in because they have trouble accepting the way God made them. One of a child’s basic needs is to feel loved and accepted and, well, CELEBRATED for who they are! This includes the fact that God chose little girls to be female and He decided that little boys would be male. As parents, we need to support God’s wise choice of gender for our kids. They need to hear us say, “I’m so glad you’re a boy! Boys are so neat.” Little girls need to be celebrated for their femininity because girls are so special. Every child deserves to know that the gender that they are is a good, good thing, and we’re so glad God made them that way.

One of the best ways we as parents can celebrate our child’s gender is to understand and support the differences between boys and girls. Affirm your kids in their maleness and their femaleness. Boys’ tendency to be active and physical isn’t a pathological problem; we need to channel it with grace, not shame it! Yes, girls are sooooo verbal and emotional–but those aren’t design flaws, they’re designed!

It’s important for dads to support their son’s masculinity even if he’s not the stereotypical jock. God makes some boys to be artistic and sensitive because we need them! Can you imagine what King David must have been like as a young boy, out in the field playing instruments and composing songs and poetry? Boys like David need their dads to say, “I’m so proud of who you are, son.” And girls really need their daddies to love and accept them and celebrate their femaleness. It’s one thing for your mother to say you’re a pretty princess, but a girl believes it when her father tells her.

One of the greatest gifts we can give our children is the security of knowing that when God made them, He “did good”–even if they like yucky things like toads and frogs.

©2001 Probe Ministries